Preparation & choosing a spouse

The basic ruling on marriage is that it is recommended (sunat) for those who desire it and are able, but the ruling can change according to the individual's circumstances.
Allah commands that the unmarried among you be married (an-Nur 24:32), and the Prophet ﷺ called marriage his sunnah and censured whoever disliked it. Scholars divide the ruling on marriage into five: obligatory for one who is able and fears falling into zina; recommended for one who desires it and is able; disliked (makruh) for one who has no desire and cannot bear the cost of maintenance; forbidden (haram) for one who is certain he will wrong his spouse; and permissible for everyone else. This assessment is personal — look at your own circumstances, ability to provide maintenance and readiness to shoulder responsibility. Further explanation is on the Rulings page.

Open this question's page →

Marriage becomes obligatory when a person is able, financially and physically, to provide maintenance and fears falling into zina if he does not marry.
The Prophet ﷺ advised the young: whoever is able (al-ba'ah) should marry, for it lowers the gaze better and guards chastity; whoever is not able should fast. Guarding oneself from zina is obligatory, and whatever leads to an obligation is also required. However, if a person cannot yet bear the cost of maintenance, he is told to preserve his chastity (an-Nur 24:33) while striving. If you are in this situation, discuss it with your family and use the cost calculator to plan.

Open this question's page →

Kriteria utama memilih isteri ialah agama dan akhlaknya, walaupun harta, keturunan dan kecantikan juga boleh diambil kira.
Nabi ﷺ bersabda bahawa wanita dinikahi kerana empat perkara — harta, keturunan, kecantikan dan agamanya — lalu baginda berpesan: pilihlah yang beragama, nescaya kamu beruntung. Baginda juga menyebut sebaik-baik perhiasan dunia ialah wanita solehah. Ulama menambah ciri-ciri lain seperti penyayang, subur (jika diketahui), serasi dari segi latar dan matlamat hidup, serta mempunyai keluarga yang baik. Lihat juga senarai kriteria untuk panduan praktikal yang lebih terperinci.

Open this question's page →

Ciri terpenting bakal suami ialah agama dan akhlak yang diredai, disertai kemampuan memikul tanggungjawab nafkah dan kepimpinan keluarga.
Nabi ﷺ berpesan kepada para wali: jika datang kepada kamu lelaki yang kamu redai agama dan akhlaknya, maka kahwinkanlah dia; jika tidak, akan berlaku fitnah dan kerosakan yang besar. Suami ialah pemimpin (qawwam) yang menanggung nafkah (an-Nisa' 4:34), maka kematangan, kejujuran, kestabilan emosi, tidak panas baran dan kesanggupan bekerja amat penting. Baginda juga bersabda sebaik-baik kamu ialah yang terbaik terhadap keluarganya. Semak juga tanggungjawab suami dan senarai kriteria.

Open this question's page →

Kafa'ah bermaksud kesepadanan antara bakal suami dan isteri dalam aspek tertentu, supaya perkahwinan lebih harmoni dan tidak memalukan pihak wanita atau walinya.
Dalam mazhab Syafi'i, aspek yang diambil kira ialah agama dan kesolehan, keturunan, status merdeka, pekerjaan, dan bebas daripada kecacatan yang membolehkan fasakh. Kafa'ah ialah hak wanita dan walinya, bukan syarat sah nikah — jika kedua-duanya reda, perkahwinan tetap sah walaupun tidak sekufu. Islam menegaskan kemuliaan sebenar ialah takwa (al-Hujurat 49:13), maka aspek agama paling utama. Lihat kafa'ah dan wali nikah.

Open this question's page →

The istikharah prayer is a two-rakaat sunnah prayer (not obligatory) followed by the istikharah supplication taught by the Prophet ﷺ, to ask Allah for the best choice.
The method: take wudu', pray two rakaat with the intention of istikharah, then recite the supplication narrated by Jabir r.a. — the Prophet ﷺ taught it as he taught a surah of the Qur'an. On reaching the words "hadha al-amr", mention your need, for example marriage to so-and-so. It may be done at any time other than the times when prayer is prohibited, and may be repeated. Istikharah is best combined with istisyarah (consultation) — seeking the views of parents and trusted people — before placing one's trust in Allah (Ali 'Imran 3:159).

Open this question's page →

There is no requirement to dream; the answer to istikharah is usually seen in whether the matter is made easy or blocked .
The istikharah supplication itself asks: if this matter is good, decree it and make it easy; if it is bad, turn it away from me and me from it. So after istikharah, carry on with your efforts as usual — if things go smoothly and the heart is at peace, that is a good sign; if it is blocked, accept it with contentment. Dreams may happen but they are not a required measure and cannot override the considerations of the Shariah and reason. Remember, sometimes we dislike a thing while it is good for us (al-Baqarah 2:216). Nor should istikharah be made an excuse to reject a good candidate without reasonable cause.

Open this question's page →

Ya, di Malaysia sijil Kursus Pra-Perkahwinan Islam lazimnya diperlukan oleh jabatan agama negeri sebelum permohonan nikah diluluskan.
Kursus ini biasanya berlangsung sekitar dua hari menggunakan modul bersepadu yang diselaraskan oleh JAKIM, dan dikendalikan oleh jabatan agama negeri atau penganjur bertauliah. Topik merangkumi fiqh munakahat, tanggungjawab suami isteri, komunikasi, pengurusan kewangan, kesihatan dan undang-undang keluarga. Walaupun bukan rukun nikah dari sudut syarak, ia syarat pentadbiran yang bertujuan mempersiapkan pasangan. Kursus boleh dihadiri lebih awal, malah sebelum ada calon. Butiran dan syarat semasa berbeza mengikut negeri — semak di laman Negeri atau Prosedur.

Open this question's page →

Pre-marriage HIV screening is made compulsory by the state religious departments for Muslim couples in Malaysia, but a positive result does not automatically prevent the marriage.
Its purpose is to protect the couple and future children and to allow early treatment. If the result is positive, the health authorities will provide counselling, and the decision to proceed with the marriage is made by the couple themselves with full knowledge. Hiding a serious infectious disease from a prospective spouse is forbidden deception, because Islam rejects harm to oneself and others (al-Baqarah 2:195). The procedure and designated clinics differ by state — refer to the States page.

Open this question's page →

For Muslims in Malaysia, the minimum age is usually 18 for men and 16 for women; below that age requires the permission of a Syariah Judge.
The Shariah itself sets no particular age, but stresses maturity (rushd) and the ability to bear responsibility (4:6), while the authorities have the right to set limits for the public good (4:59). State Islamic family laws set these age limits as a protective measure, and several states have tightened or are tightening the conditions for underage marriage. The court will assess the applicant's maturity, health, schooling and welfare. Because provisions differ between states and can be amended, please consult your state enactment or States page.

Open this question's page →

There is no fixed amount in the Shariah; the only obligations are the mahr (dower) and the ability to provide maintenance (nafkah), while the cost of the reception depends on custom and choice.
Plan three parts: (1) marriage costs — mahr, registration fees, course and screening; (2) reception costs — walimah, hantaran (custom, not obligatory); (3) costs of starting life together — rent, deposit, basic furniture and emergency savings of at least 3–6 months' expenses. The Prophet ﷺ encouraged moderation; the best marriage is the easiest. Avoid large debts for the sake of the reception. Use the calculator and the mahr & hantaran guide to estimate.

Open this question's page →

You can be considered ready when you have the capacity (al-ba'ah) in knowledge, emotions, physical health and finances to bear the responsibilities of a household.
Ask yourself: Do I understand the rights and responsibilities of husband and wife? Can I provide basic maintenance (or, for women, am I prepared for my role and rights)? Can I control my anger, compromise and apologise? Am I free of addictions or burdensome debts? Has the family been told? Being ready does not mean being perfect; it means being willing to learn and to take responsibility. The Prophet ﷺ linked the command to marry with having the capacity. See the Guide for the full checklist.

Open this question's page →

The best intention is to marry for the sake of Allah: to guard one's chastity, follow the sunnah of the Prophet ﷺ, build a Muslim family and raise righteous offspring.
Every deed is judged by its intention; the hadith on intention itself mentions that one who emigrated for a woman he wished to marry gets only what he intended. So a marriage with a good intention becomes worship — indeed maintenance and kindness to one's spouse are rewarded. Other intentions such as love and a comfortable life are not wrong, but keep them in line with the goal of the Hereafter. Renew your intention throughout the marriage, not only at the contract. Allah made marriage a source of tranquillity, love and mercy (ar-Rum 30:21).

Open this question's page →

If you are not yet able, Islam tells you to preserve your chastity, fast, and strive to improve your means until Allah opens the way.
Allah says: let those who cannot yet marry keep themselves chaste until Allah enriches them (an-Nur 24:33). The Prophet ﷺ recommended fasting because it is a shield. Practical steps: set a savings target, improve your skills or income, attend the pre-marriage course early, and talk with your family — sometimes the family is willing to help, or a prospective spouse will accept a modest start. Stay away from mixing and content that arouse desire (an-Nur 24:30). Scholars also mention that one who marries to protect his chastity is promised Allah's help.

Open this question's page →

Before marrying, a person must know the personal religious obligation (fardu ain) knowledge relating to the married life they are about to enter.
This includes: (1) the ruling on marriage, its pillars and conditions; (2) the rights and responsibilities of husband and wife, including maintenance (nafkah); (3) the fiqh of purification — the obligatory bath, menstruation, postnatal bleeding and irregular bleeding; (4) the etiquette of marital intimacy; (5) the basics of talaq, reconciliation (rujuk) and ʿiddah, so that talaq is not pronounced carelessly; (6) the basics of raising children. Seeking knowledge is an obligation on every Muslim, and this knowledge is the basis for carrying out the command to protect oneself and one's family from the Fire (at-Tahrim 66:6). Begin with Marriage Basics and Rights of husband & wife.

Open this question's page →

For a woman, the consent of her wali (guardian) (usually her father) is a condition of a valid marriage in the Shafi'i school; for a man, his parents' blessing is not a condition of validity but is strongly encouraged as an act of devotion to them.
Strive to gain their blessing tactfully: understand the reasons for their objection, involve a go-between or a respected relative, and show that the candidate is ready. If a father rejects a compatible candidate without a Shariah-recognised reason, the woman may apply for a wali hakim (judge as guardian) through the Syariah Court — not marry secretly or abroad without permission. Remember, obedience and kindness to parents is a command of Allah (al-Isra' 17:23). Procedural details are in Marriage guardian.

Open this question's page →

Islam requires the willing consent of the bride and groom; a woman may not be married off without her consent, and a child does not sin by declining a candidate in a good manner.
The Prophet ﷺ said a previously married woman is not to be married until her opinion is sought, and a virgin not until her permission is sought. In the Shafi'i school, a father or grandfather (wali mujbir) may in theory marry off a virgin daughter without her permission, but only under strict conditions such as there being no enmity and the candidate being compatible; scholars still urge that her permission be sought. Islamic family law in Malaysia requires the consent of both parties. Explain your position politely, allow a chance to get to know the candidate, and seek counselling if the pressure continues.

Open this question's page →

It is not wrong to take looks into account, because they are among the reasons mentioned by the Prophet ﷺ, but they must not outweigh religion and character.
The hadith of the four criteria mentions beauty as one factor, and Islam encourages seeing a prospective spouse so that attraction can arise. But he advised: give priority to the one who is religious. Looks change with age, whereas character determines long-term happiness. Allah does not look at our appearance and wealth, but at our hearts and deeds. So keep a balance — make sure there is healthy attraction, but let religion, character and compatibility be the deciding factors. See Criteria.

Open this question's page →

Yes; a difference in financial standing does not invalidate a marriage, but it should be discussed honestly because it affects expectations of maintenance and lifestyle.
Allah promises: if they are poor, Allah will enrich them from His bounty (an-Nur 24:32). But the Prophet ﷺ also advised Fatimah bint Qais by mentioning a suitor's financial situation — showing that finances are a legitimate factor to weigh. A husband's maintenance is measured according to his means (at-Talaq 65:7). Discuss expectations about housing, spending, contributions to family and management of the wife's property before the akad. See Maintenance and Kafa'ah.

Open this question's page →

Marrying a widow, divorcee, widower or divorced man is permissible and honourable; there is no deficiency in that status under the Shariah.
Most of the Prophet's ﷺ wives were previously married, including Khadijah r.a., who was older. The command in an-Nur 24:32 to marry off al-ayama covers unmarried women and men, including the widowed and divorced. Practical matters must be prepared: relations with the former spouse, maintenance and custody of existing children, the role of step-parent, and making sure the woman's ʿiddah has ended before the akad. Avoid social stigma against divorced or widowed women — it is contrary to Islamic character. See Children regarding stepchildren.

Open this question's page →

Yes, it is permissible to marry a Muslim of a different ethnicity; Islam does not make ethnicity the measure of honour.
Allah made humankind into peoples and tribes so that they may know one another, and the most honoured is the most God-conscious (al-Hujurat 49:13). But be prepared for differences in language, customs, food, family expectations and communication style. For a foreign spouse, there are additional requirements such as documents confirming single/divorced status and permission from the authorities, as well as immigration issues and the children's citizenship. Discuss early where you will live and relations with both families. See Cross-border marriage.

Open this question's page →

Yes, marrying a cousin is permissible because a cousin is not a mahram.
The list of women whom it is forbidden to marry in an-Nisa' 4:23 does not include cousins, and Allah says that all others are made lawful (an-Nisa' 4:24). Al-Ahzab 33:50 also mentions the daughters of paternal and maternal uncles as lawful for the Prophet ﷺ, and he married Zainab bint Jahsh, his cousin. However, some Shafi'i scholars consider it preferable to choose someone who is not a close relative, and medically, cousin marriage raises the risk of recessive genetic diseases such as thalassaemia. Consider genetic screening and a doctor's advice. See Mahram.

Open this question's page →

If they have truly repented and are now steadfast, their past should not be an obstacle; Allah accepts repentance and erases sins.
Islam encourages concealing faults that have been left behind; a person is not obliged to disclose past sins that Allah has concealed, and the Prophet ﷺ censured those who publicise their own sins. Assess their present state: prayer, honesty, the company they keep, and evidence of change. If the past still has present consequences — such as debts, addiction, an infectious disease or dependent children — it must be discussed honestly. The verse an-Nur 24:3 is understood by many scholars to refer to fornicators who have not repented. Pray istikharah and seek advice from people of knowledge.

Open this question's page →

Abandoning prayer is a major sin; it is better not to proceed with the marriage until they have truly changed, because religion is the primary criterion for a spouse.
Prayer is the pillar of religion and the clearest sign of a person's relationship with Allah. A husband is responsible for leading his family towards good (at-Tahrim 66:6), while a wife is the children's first educator. Do not marry hoping to "change them after the wedding" — the change must be proven before the akad. Legally, in the Shafi'i school the marriage remains valid so long as they are Muslim, but the happiness and blessing of the home are seriously affected. Advise them with wisdom and pray istikharah.

Open this question's page →

It is permissible to proceed with the marriage if you know their condition and accept it willingly; sincerely accepting a spouse who is ill is a noble deed.
What matters is transparency: you have the right to know the actual condition, the prognosis, the cost of treatment and its effect on family life, including fertility and risks to children. See a doctor together to get a true picture. Consider your emotional and financial capacity as a carer, and the support of your family. If the illness is infectious, take the preventive steps advised. Allah does not burden a soul beyond its capacity (al-Baqarah 2:286) — make your decision honestly with yourself, not out of pressure or guilt.

Open this question's page →

It is strongly encouraged even though not compulsory in every state, because it can avoid the risk of serious genetic disease in children.
Thalassaemia is fairly common in Malaysia; if both partners are carriers, each pregnancy carries a risk of a child with thalassaemia major. A simple blood test can be done at a health clinic. A carrier result does not forbid the marriage — it gives information for decision-making and planning, such as genetic counselling. Islam tells us to take precautions and prevent harm; the Prophet ﷺ also told us to keep away from sources of contagious disease. Couples who are close relatives have even more reason to do it. Consult a health clinic and the States page.

Open this question's page →

Ya, penyakit atau kecacatan yang memberi kesan kepada perkahwinan wajib dimaklumkan; menyembunyikannya adalah penipuan.
Nabi ﷺ bersabda sesiapa yang menipu bukan daripada golongan baginda. Fuqaha Syafi'i menyenaraikan kecacatan seperti gila, kusta, sopak dan kecacatan alat kelamin sebagai alasan fasakh jika disembunyikan, dan undang-undang keluarga Islam di Malaysia turut mengiktiraf beberapa penyakit sebagai alasan fasakh. Penyakit lain yang serius — berjangkit, menjejaskan kesuburan, atau gangguan mental yang ketara — juga wajar didedahkan demi amanah. Penyakit ringan yang tidak menjejaskan rumah tangga tidak perlu dihebahkan. Lihat Talak & cerai tentang fasakh.

Open this question's page →

Yes, and it may be good for preserving one's chastity, on condition that maintenance and responsibilities can be borne and studies are not neglected.
The Prophet ﷺ tied marriage to ability. Students who marry need to plan: a source of maintenance (part-time work, scholarship, agreed family support), housing, pregnancy planning, and time management. Also check the conditions of your scholarship or sponsor and the institution's rules. Allah promises sufficiency to those who marry to preserve their chastity (an-Nur 24:32), but that promise comes with effort. Talk with both sets of parents and use the calculator to estimate costs.

Open this question's page →

Owning a house is not obligatory, but the husband must provide suitable housing according to his means — it can be rented.
Scholars cite at-Talaq 65:6 (house them where you live, according to your means) as evidence that housing is part of a wife's maintenance. The home must be safe, give privacy and meet basic needs. Living with in-laws is permitted if the wife consents and her privacy is protected; the wife has the right to ask for a space of her own. Do not delay marriage merely because you cannot yet afford to buy a house. Discuss the living arrangements before the contract. See Maintenance (nafkah).

Open this question's page →

No; asking about and giving honest information on a prospective spouse for the purpose of marriage is permissible, and is even a form of sincere advice.
Fatimah bint Qais r.a. sought the Prophet's ﷺ view on two suitors, and he honestly mentioned the shortcomings of each and suggested Usamah. Imam an-Nawawi lists consultation in marriage matters among the situations in which ghibah is permitted. The conditions: ask people who truly know the person, mention only relevant matters, do not exaggerate, and have a sincere intention. The person asked must in turn be honest and not hide important matters — religion is sincere advice.

Open this question's page →

Yes, and indeed it is a praiseworthy and discreet way, because it helps protect the dignity of both parties.
The Companions of the Prophet ﷺ commonly acted as intermediaries; Umar r.a. himself offered his daughter Hafsah to other Companions before she was proposed to by the Prophet ﷺ. A good go-between is trustworthy, knows both parties, and conveys information honestly without embellishment. Such help is part of cooperating in goodness (al-Ma'idah 5:2). After being introduced, continue by asking questions, praying istikharah and involving the family. Avoid intermediaries who demand unreasonable fees or promise a "guaranteed match".

Open this question's page →

Teruskan berdoa dan berusaha dengan cara yang dibenarkan, sambil bersangka baik dengan ketentuan Allah.
Jodoh ialah takdir, tetapi usaha disuruh: maklumkan kepada keluarga dan sahabat yang dipercayai, sertai aktiviti dan komuniti yang baik, gunakan orang tengah, dan perbaiki diri. Banyakkan doa — antara doa yang sering diamalkan ialah doa Nabi Musa a.s. "Rabbi inni lima anzalta ilayya min khairin faqir" (al-Qasas 28:24), yang dibaca sebelum baginda dipertemukan dengan jodohnya. Elakkan amalan khurafat seperti "mandi buang sial" kerana ia bercanggah dengan akidah. Nilai semula jika kriteria anda terlalu ketat pada perkara sekunder. Allah tidak mengubah keadaan sesuatu kaum hingga mereka mengubah diri mereka (ar-Ra'd 13:11).

Open this question's page →

Emotional preparation means being able to manage feelings, communicate and compromise — because marriage unites two different people.
Practical steps: identify your anger triggers and how you react; resolve old wounds (for example family trauma) with a counsellor's help if needed; learn to listen without judging; be ready not to win every time; and realise that love changes form into mawaddah (affection) and rahmah (mercy) (ar-Rum 30:21). Islam commands living together in kindness and patience with what one dislikes in a spouse (an-Nisa' 4:19). Pre-marriage courses and pre-nikah counselling sessions help a great deal.

Open this question's page →

A man must be ready to carry the family's leadership (qiwamah), maintenance and religious education, not merely the power to make decisions.
Allah made men leaders because of the responsibility of maintenance (an-Nisa' 4:34), and commands protecting oneself and one's family from the Fire (at-Tahrim 66:6). Every leader will be asked about those in his care. Preparation includes: a stable income, knowledge of family fiqh, skill in managing conflict without violence, willingness to help with household matters — the Prophet ﷺ himself helped his family — and the ability to lead the prayer. The best of husbands is the one who is best to his family. See Responsibilities.

Open this question's page →

A woman needs to be prepared with knowledge of her rights and responsibilities, emotional stability, and an understanding of the married life built together.
Preparations include: understanding the fiqh of purification (menstruation, postnatal bleeding, the obligatory bath); knowing her rights — mahr, maintenance, housing and kind treatment — as well as responsibilities such as obedience in what is right; discussing career and money management; and preparing for pregnancy and raising children. Allah has given wives rights equal to their obligations, in kindness (al-Baqarah 2:228). Household skills are good to learn, but they are a shared responsibility. See Rights of husband & wife.

Open this question's page →

Not necessarily; debt does not prevent marriage, but it must be managed and disclosed to the prospective spouse if the amount is large.
Assess whether the income remaining after debt repayments is enough for the wife's basic maintenance — maintenance is an obligatory right that cannot be neglected. If the debt is small and under control, go ahead with a modest budget. If the debt is large (for example a personal loan or credit cards), make a repayment plan first, cut the reception costs, and avoid taking on new debt for the sake of a feast. Being honest with your prospective spouse about financial commitments is a trust (amanah). Use the calculator and Maintenance.

Open this question's page →

Marrying to escape problems is not a firm intention; marriage brings new responsibilities, not an automatic solution.
Every deed depends on its intention, and a decision as big as marriage should be made with a calm mind. If you are facing abuse or serious pressure at home, seek help directly — a trusted relative, a counsellor, or the authorities — rather than relying on a hasty marriage that may expose you to new risks. If you are genuinely ready and the candidate is good, marriage can be a legitimate way out; make sure the choice is based on religion, character and readiness, not the pressure of circumstances. See Counselling.

Open this question's page →

Yes, it is strongly encouraged to discuss each other's views on polygyny openly before the contract, for the sake of transparency and to avoid misunderstanding later.
Polygyny is permissible on condition of justice (an-Nisa' 4:3), but many couples have different expectations. An honest discussion lets the prospective wife make an informed decision, and the prospective husband understand his partner's sensitivities. Some couples include particular conditions or a taʿliq; their legal effect differs by school and state Enactment — see Conditions & taʿliq. In Malaysia, polygyny still requires Syariah Court permission (Act 303, s.23). More detail in Rulings.

Open this question's page →

Yes; many couples build love after marrying, because affection in a marriage is made by Allah, not merely brought along from the start.
Allah says that He placed between husband and wife mawaddah (affection) and rahmah (mercy) (ar-Rum 30:21). But there must be a foundation: sincere consent without coercion, respect, no feelings of hatred or revulsion, and compatible values. Islam encourages seeing a prospective spouse so that attraction can arise. Lasting love is built through kind treatment, communication, patience and worship together. Conversely, blind love that does not weigh religion and character can fade quickly.

Open this question's page →

The Shariah does not set any particular age gap; what matters is compatibility, maturity and the ability to fulfil each other's rights.
The Prophet ﷺ married Khadijah r.a., who was older than him, and that marriage was among the happiest. In the narration of an-Nasa'i, when Abu Bakr and Umar proposed to Fatimah r.a., he said she was still young, and then married her to Ali r.a., who was closer to her in age — showing that compatibility in age may be taken into account. A large gap calls for discussion of energy, health, family planning and the period of caregiving. Women should also consider the husband's ability to provide both material and intimate maintenance.

Open this question's page →

Yes — use this short checklist covering religion, knowledge, emotions, health, finances and family.
Religion: prayers kept, intention for the sake of Allah. Knowledge: understand the pillars of marriage, the rights of husband and wife, the fiqh of menstruation and the obligatory bath, the basics of talaq. Emotions: able to control anger, discuss and apologise. Health: HIV screening (required by the states), consider thalassaemia. Finances: income for maintenance, emergency savings, debts under control. Family: parents' blessing, the wali's consent. Administration: pre-marriage course certificate, identity documents. The full list is in the Guide and Procedure.

Open this question's page →

Differences in matters of furu' (secondary issues), such as school-of-law practices, can usually be managed, but significant differences in creed (akidah) must be weighed seriously.
Differences such as how qunut is performed, recitations in prayer or the practice of tahlil are recognised differences of opinion among scholars; a couple can respect each other. But if the difference touches on creed, or on an extreme ideology quick to declare others unbelievers, it can harm the children's upbringing and the harmony of the home. Discuss early: daily practices, the children's religious education, attitudes towards family members with different practices. If you are unsure about the creedal status of a particular teaching, consult the state mufti department. Allah calls the community to hold fast to His rope and not be divided (Ali 'Imran 3:103).

Open this question's page →

A man must make sure he is able to be just in maintenance, the rotation of nights and housing, and fulfil the legal procedure before taking another wife.
Allah permits polygyny but commands marrying only one if one fears being unable to be just (an-Nisa' 4:3). The Prophet ﷺ warned that a husband who inclines towards one wife will come on the Day of Judgement with one side of his body leaning. Preparation: assess the finances for two households, examine your intention, be frank with the existing wife and listen to her concerns, weigh the effect on the children, and apply for Syariah Court permission (Act 303, s.23). See Conditions, Polygyny in Malaysia and the calculator.

Open this question's page →

According to the majority of scholars, polygyny is permissible (mubah) on condition of justice — not a sunnah generally required of every man.
An-Nisa' 4:3 gives permission for up to four wives, but is followed by the command to marry one if one fears being unjust. Some Shafi'i scholars state that it is better not to take more than one wife without need, for fear of falling into injustice. The Prophet's ﷺ practice of polygyny had its own wisdom and context. A good intention — guarding oneself, supporting a widow or orphans — can make it an act of worship, but intention alone does not remove the conditions of justice and ability, and for most men one wife remains the choice closer to justice. See Fiqh of polygyny.

Open this question's page →

Yes, persons with disabilities have the right to marry like anyone else; a physical disability does not bar marriage.
The conditions are the same: sound mind, consent and understanding of the contract. For a person with an intellectual disability who cannot understand marriage, the marriage involves the wali and possibly court permission, with careful assessment of their welfare. Important preparations: openness about one's condition with the prospective spouse, discussion of care support, finances (including welfare assistance), home accessibility, and planning for children with medical advice. Allah judges people by their piety and hearts, not by appearance or physical ability (al-Hujurat 49:13). Society should support, not obstruct.

Open this question's page →

Remaining single out of dislike for the sunnah of marriage is blameworthy, but not marrying because of no desire, inability or particular circumstances is not sinful.
The Prophet ﷺ rebuked Companions who resolved never to marry for the sake of worship, saying: I marry women, so whoever turns away from my sunnah is not of me. However, Shafi'i scholars say that for one who has no desire and is unable, it is better not to marry and to devote oneself to worship. What matters is that chastity remains preserved. Society should also not pressure or belittle those who have not married, or do not marry, for reasonable causes.

Open this question's page →

No single specific supplication is required, but the Qur'anic supplications asking for spouses and offspring who are a comfort to the eyes are suitable to practise.
Among them: "Rabbana hab lana min azwajina wa dhurriyyatina qurrata a'yun waj'alna lil-muttaqina imama" (al-Furqan 25:74), and the supplication of the Prophet Musa a.s. "Rabbi inni lima anzalta ilayya min khairin faqir" (al-Qasas 28:24). Supplicate in your own language, mentioning the qualities you hope for in a spouse, at times when prayers are answered, such as in prostration and in the last third of the night. Combine supplication with effort, and with the istikharah prayer once there is a candidate. Avoid practices or amulets that have no basis in the Shariah.

Open this question's page →

Ya, melihat latar belakang keluarga adalah wajar kerana keturunan termasuk faktor yang disebut Nabi ﷺ dan akan mempengaruhi kehidupan rumah tangga.
Hadis empat kriteria menyebut keturunan (hasab), dan ia juga sebahagian unsur kafa'ah dalam mazhab Syafi'i. Keluarga mempengaruhi nilai, cara berkomunikasi dan jangkaan seseorang; anda juga akan berhubung rapat dengan mertua dan ipar. Namun jangan menghukum seseorang semata-mata kerana kesilapan ahli keluarganya — Allah menegaskan tiada yang menanggung dosa orang lain (al-An'am 6:164). Nilai calon itu sendiri dahulu, kemudian pertimbangkan dinamik keluarga. Lihat Kriteria.

Open this question's page →

Ya, rasa takut itu normal dan tanda anda serius; atasinya dengan ilmu, perancangan dan tawakal, bukan dengan menangguh tanpa had.
Kenal pasti punca takut: kewangan, pengalaman perceraian dalam keluarga, atau kurang keyakinan diri. Setiap satu ada penyelesaian — bajet realistik, kursus dan kaunseling pra-perkahwinan, serta berbual dengan pasangan yang berpengalaman. Allah tidak membebani seseorang melebihi kemampuannya (al-Baqarah 2:286), dan Allah berjanji memberi kecukupan kepada yang berkahwin untuk menjaga diri (an-Nur 24:32). Kesempurnaan tidak diperlukan; yang perlu ialah kesanggupan untuk belajar dan berusaha bersama. Jika rasa cemas sangat mengganggu, dapatkan sesi kaunseling.

Open this question's page →

Discuss the matters that most often cause conflict: religion, finances, where to live, career, children and family.
Suggested list: (1) religious practice and goals for the Hereafter; (2) income, debts, savings and who pays for what; (3) housing — own, rented or with family; (4) the wife's career and the possibility of relocating; (5) number of children, family planning and how to raise them; (6) support for both sets of parents; (7) how to resolve conflict; (8) views on polygyny; (9) health issues. Transparency before the contract is a trust and reduces disappointment later. More guidance in Rights of husband & wife and Maintenance (nafkah).

Open this question's page →