🧭 Preparation & choosing a spouse · #16
My parents are forcing me to marry their choice. What is the ruling?
Islam requires the willing consent of the bride and groom; a woman may not be married off without her consent, and a child does not sin by declining a candidate in a good manner.
The Prophet ﷺ said a previously married woman is not to be married until her opinion is sought, and a virgin not until her permission is sought. In the Shafi'i school, a father or grandfather (wali mujbir) may in theory marry off a virgin daughter without her permission, but only under strict conditions such as there being no enmity and the candidate being compatible; scholars still urge that her permission be sought. Islamic family law in Malaysia requires the consent of both parties. Explain your position politely, allow a chance to get to know the candidate, and seek counselling if the pressure continues.
The Prophet ﷺ said a previously married woman is not to be married until her opinion is sought, and a virgin not until her permission is sought. In the Shafi'i school, a father or grandfather (wali mujbir) may in theory marry off a virgin daughter without her permission, but only under strict conditions such as there being no enmity and the candidate being compatible; scholars still urge that her permission be sought. Islamic family law in Malaysia requires the consent of both parties. Explain your position politely, allow a chance to get to know the candidate, and seek counselling if the pressure continues.
Differences between the schools. The Hanafi school does not recognise compulsion (ijbar) over an adult woman; the Shafi'i, Maliki and Hanbali schools allow a father to give a virgin daughter in marriage (ijbar) under certain conditions, while still encouraging him to ask her permission.
Sources
Sahih al-Bukhari 5136Sahih Muslim, Kitab an-NikahSurah al-Isra' 17:23