A guide to du'a and prayer for marriage and polygyny

1Quick index

This page gathers the prayers and du'as established in the Qur'an and Sunnah for every stage of marriage — before choosing a spouse, on the day of the contract, the first night, married life, and when tested in polygyny. Each du'a is given with its Arabic text, transliteration, meaning and source. Qur'anic verses are copied from the Tanzil mushaf text; hadith du'as use the wording well known in the reference works.

Tiada "doa poligami" khusus dalam sunnah. Yang ada ialah doa-doa umum yang sahih untuk memohon kebaikan, keadilan, ketenangan dan kesabaran — dan itulah yang dihimpunkan di sini.

2The istikharah prayer

What it is: istikharah means asking Allah to choose what is best. Jabir bin Abdullah r.a. said the Prophet ﷺ taught the Companions istikharah in all matters just as he taught them a surah of the Qur'an (Sahih al-Bukhari 1162). It is suitable before choosing a partner, accepting or declining a proposal, setting the date of the contract, or before a husband decides to marry again.

How:

1. Solat sunat dua rakaat dengan niat solat sunat istikharah (selain solat fardu).
2. The surah recited after al-Fatihah is free; an-Nawawi recommends al-Kafirun in the first rak'ah and al-Ikhlas in the second.
3. After the salam, praise Allah and send blessings on the Prophet, then recite the istikharah du'a and state your need (for example "my marriage to so-and-so") in place of "hadzal-amr".
4. When: at any time, night or day; in the Shafi'i school it is avoided at the times when prayer is forbidden (after Subuh until the sun has risen, at istiwa', after Asar until Maghrib). The last third of the night is a good time for du'a.
5. How many times: there is no fixed number in the sahih hadith. It may be repeated if you are still unsure. The narration mentioning seven times is weak and is not made a condition.

3The istikharah du'a

The istikharah du'a
When: after the two rak'ahs of the istikharah prayer (or as a du'a alone if one cannot pray, according to some scholars).

اللَّهُمَّ إِنِّي أَسْتَخِيرُكَ بِعِلْمِكَ، وَأَسْتَقْدِرُكَ بِقُدْرَتِكَ، وَأَسْأَلُكَ مِنْ فَضْلِكَ الْعَظِيمِ، فَإِنَّكَ تَقْدِرُ وَلَا أَقْدِرُ، وَتَعْلَمُ وَلَا أَعْلَمُ، وَأَنْتَ عَلَّامُ الْغُيُوبِ. اللَّهُمَّ إِنْ كُنْتَ تَعْلَمُ أَنَّ هَذَا الْأَمْرَ خَيْرٌ لِي فِي دِينِي وَمَعَاشِي وَعَاقِبَةِ أَمْرِي، فَاقْدُرْهُ لِي وَيَسِّرْهُ لِي، ثُمَّ بَارِكْ لِي فِيهِ. وَإِنْ كُنْتَ تَعْلَمُ أَنَّ هَذَا الْأَمْرَ شَرٌّ لِي فِي دِينِي وَمَعَاشِي وَعَاقِبَةِ أَمْرِي، فَاصْرِفْهُ عَنِّي وَاصْرِفْنِي عَنْهُ، وَاقْدُرْ لِيَ الْخَيْرَ حَيْثُ كَانَ، ثُمَّ أَرْضِنِي بِهِ

Transliteration: Allahumma inni astakhiruka bi'ilmika, wa astaqdiruka biqudratika, wa as-aluka min fadhlikal-'azim, fa innaka taqdiru wa la aqdir, wa ta'lamu wa la a'lam, wa anta 'allamul-ghuyub. Allahumma in kunta ta'lamu anna hadzal-amra khairun li fi dini wa ma'asyi wa 'aqibati amri, faqdurhu li wa yassirhu li, tsumma barik li fih. Wa in kunta ta'lamu anna hadzal-amra syarrun li fi dini wa ma'asyi wa 'aqibati amri, fasrifhu 'anni wasrifni 'anhu, waqdur liyal-khaira haitsu kana, tsumma ardhini bih.

Meaning: O Allah, I seek Your guidance through Your knowledge, I seek ability through Your power, and I ask of Your immense bounty. For You have power and I have none, You know and I do not, and You are the Knower of the unseen. O Allah, if You know this matter to be good for me in my religion, my livelihood and the outcome of my affairs, then decree it for me, make it easy for me, and then bless me in it. And if You know this matter to be bad for me in my religion, my livelihood and the outcome of my affairs, then turn it away from me and turn me away from it, decree for me the good wherever it may be, and then make me content with it.

Source: Sahih al-Bukhari 1162 (hadith of Jabir bin Abdullah). In that narration the narrator was unsure whether the wording was "wa 'aqibati amri" or "'ajili amri wa ajilih" (my affairs in the near and distant future); either may be recited.

4Solat hajat (prayer of need)

General evidence: Allah says, "And seek help through patience and prayer" (Surah al-Baqarah 2:45; also 2:153). Hudhayfah r.a. narrated that when something weighed on the Prophet ﷺ, he would hasten to prayer (narrated by Abu Dawud; graded hasan by al-Albani).

Status: the hadith describing a specific method of "solat hajat" (narrated by at-Tirmidhi and Ibn Majah from Abdullah bin Abi Awfa) is graded weak (da'if) by many hadith scholars, including at-Tirmidhi himself, who criticised one of its narrators. So it is not used as evidence for any particular wording or number of rak'ahs.

The scholars' position:

• Many scholars, including in Shafi'i practice in Malaysia, regard two voluntary rak'ahs for a need as sunat, based on the general evidence above.
• Some other scholars hold that it is enough to pray an ordinary voluntary prayer (for example night prayer or an unrestricted voluntary prayer) and then make any good du'a, without singling out wording from weak narrations.

The safe way: pray two voluntary rak'ahs, then praise Allah, send blessings on the Prophet, and ask for your need (for example a smooth contract, the family's agreement, healing, the family's provision) using the du'as from the Qur'an and sahih hadith on this page.

5Du'a for a good spouse and offspring

The du'a for comfort of the eyes (spouses and offspring)
When: at any time — before marrying, after the contract, in the family's daily du'a.

رَبَّنَا هَبْ لَنَا مِنْ أَزْوَٰجِنَا وَذُرِّيَّـٰتِنَا قُرَّةَ أَعْيُنٍۢ وَٱجْعَلْنَا لِلْمُتَّقِينَ إِمَامًا

Transliteration: Rabbana hab lana min azwajina wa dzurriyyatina qurrata a'yun, waj'alna lil-muttaqina imama.

Meaning: Our Lord, grant us from among our spouses and offspring comfort to our eyes, and make us leaders of the God-fearing.

Source: Surah al-Furqan 25:74. Note that the wording is plural — azwajina (our spouses) — suitable for the whole family.

The du'a of the Prophet Musa a.s. asking for good
When: when in need of provision, work, a home or a spouse. Musa recited this du'a before Allah brought him to the family who later became his in-laws (see the following verses up to 28:27).

رَبِّ إِنِّى لِمَآ أَنزَلْتَ إِلَىَّ مِنْ خَيْرٍۢ فَقِيرٌۭ

Transliteration: Rabbi inni lima anzalta ilayya min khairin faqir.

Meaning: My Lord, truly I am in need of whatever good You send down to me.

Source: Surah al-Qasas 28:24.

The du'a of the Prophet Zakariya a.s. for offspring
When: when asking for a child, especially for couples slow to have children.

رَبِّ هَبْ لِى مِن لَّدُنكَ ذُرِّيَّةًۭ طَيِّبَةً ۖ إِنَّكَ سَمِيعُ ٱلدُّعَآءِ

Transliteration: Rabbi hab li min ladunka dzurriyyatan tayyibah, innaka sami'ud-du'a'.

Meaning: My Lord, grant me from Yourself good offspring; truly You are the Hearer of prayer.

Source: Surah Ali 'Imran 3:38.

The du'a of the Prophet Ibrahim a.s. for righteous offspring
When: as above.

رَبِّ هَبْ لِى مِنَ ٱلصَّـٰلِحِينَ

Transliteration: Rabbi hab li minas-salihin.

Meaning: My Lord, grant me (a child) from among the righteous.

Source: Surah as-Saffat 37:100.

See also Fertility for medical efforts that go alongside du'a.

6Du'a for the newly-weds

Congratulations and du'a for the newly-weds
When: when congratulating the couple — after the contract, at the walimah, or by message. The Prophet ﷺ used this du'a in place of the pre-Islamic greeting "may you live in harmony and have sons".

بَارَكَ اللَّهُ لَكَ، وَبَارَكَ عَلَيْكَ، وَجَمَعَ بَيْنَكُمَا فِي خَيْرٍ

Transliteration: Barakallahu laka, wa baraka 'alaika, wa jama'a bainakuma fi khair.

Meaning: May Allah bless you, shower blessings upon you, and bring the two of you together in goodness.

Source: Sunan Abu Dawud 2130; Jami' at-Tirmidhi 1091 — at-Tirmidhi graded it hasan sahih (hadith of Abu Hurairah). For the bride, replace laka/'alaika with laki/'alaiki.

The Prophet ﷺ also said to Abdul Rahman bin 'Awf, who had just married, "Barakallahu laka", and told him to hold a walimah even if with one sheep (Sahih al-Bukhari 5155). See Walimah.

7Du'a on first meeting one's wife

Holding the wife's forelock and making du'a
When: when the husband is first alone with his wife after the contract. The husband places his hand on the front of his wife's head, mentions the name of Allah and asks for blessing.

اللَّهُمَّ إِنِّي أَسْأَلُكَ خَيْرَهَا وَخَيْرَ مَا جَبَلْتَهَا عَلَيْهِ، وَأَعُوذُ بِكَ مِنْ شَرِّهَا وَشَرِّ مَا جَبَلْتَهَا عَلَيْهِ

Transliteration: Allahumma inni as-aluka khairaha wa khaira ma jabaltaha 'alaih, wa a'udzu bika min syarriha wa syarri ma jabaltaha 'alaih.

Meaning: O Allah, I ask You for her good and the good of the nature You created in her, and I seek refuge in You from her evil and the evil of the nature You created in her.

Source: Sunan Abu Dawud 2160 (hadith of 'Amr bin Shu'ayb from his father from his grandfather); also narrated by Ibn Majah. Graded hasan by al-Albani.

Do it gently and respectfully; explain to your wife that it is a Sunnah and a du'a for good for both of you. Many scholars mention that it is recommended for the couple then to pray two rak'ahs together, based on reports from the Companions; this is a good practice but not a condition.

8Du'a before intimacy with one's wife

The du'a before intimacy
When: every time before marital relations.

بِسْمِ اللَّهِ، اللَّهُمَّ جَنِّبْنَا الشَّيْطَانَ، وَجَنِّبِ الشَّيْطَانَ مَا رَزَقْتَنَا

Transliteration: Bismillah, Allahumma jannibnasy-syaitan, wa jannibisy-syaitana ma razaqtana.

Meaning: In the name of Allah. O Allah, keep Satan away from us and keep Satan away from what (offspring) You grant us.

Source: Sahih al-Bukhari 5165; Sahih Muslim 1434 (hadith of Ibn 'Abbas). The Prophet ﷺ said that if a child is decreed from that union, Satan will not harm it.

Other adab — cleanliness, gentleness, keeping secrets, and the prohibitions during menstruation — are explained in Adab of marital intimacy.

9Praying together and night prayer for husband and wife

Praying together at home: a husband is encouraged to lead his wife (and wives) in voluntary and obligatory prayers at home when not going to the mosque. Anas bin Malik r.a. related that the Prophet ﷺ prayed in his house, with Anas and an orphan behind him, and his mother Umm Sulaim behind them (narrated by al-Bukhari and Muslim). From this hadith the jurists conclude: a woman following the prayer stands behind a male imam, even if she is alone.

Waking each other for night prayer: the Prophet ﷺ said, "May Allah have mercy on a man who gets up at night to pray and wakes his wife… May Allah have mercy on a woman who gets up at night to pray and wakes her husband…" (Sunan Abu Dawud 1308; also narrated by an-Nasa'i and Ibn Majah; graded hasan sahih by al-Albani).

• Start small: two rak'ahs before sleeping or before Subuh.
• In polygyny, worship together is part of that wife's turn; it is also the best way to look after hearts and bring calm to the household.
• Selepas solat, bacalah doa Surah al-Furqan 25:74 bersama-sama.

10Du'a when angry, jealous and seeking calm

Seeking refuge (isti'adzah) when angry or jealous
When: when anger or jealousy peaks — between husband and wife or between co-wives.

أَعُوذُ بِاللَّهِ مِنَ الشَّيْطَانِ الرَّجِيمِ

Transliteration: A'udzu billahi minasy-syaitanir-rajim.

Meaning: I seek refuge in Allah from Satan the accursed.

Source: Sahih al-Bukhari 3282; Sahih Muslim 2610 (hadith of Sulaiman bin Surad: the Prophet ﷺ saw two men quarrelling and said that if he said these words, what he felt would go away).

The Prophet ﷺ also told a person who is angry while standing to sit down, and if it has not passed, to lie down (narrated by Abu Dawud; graded sahih by al-Albani). Falling silent for a moment and making wuduk are practical steps before talking.

Remembrance for peace of heart
When: when anxious, jealous or unable to sleep.

ٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوا۟ وَتَطْمَئِنُّ قُلُوبُهُم بِذِكْرِ ٱللَّهِ ۗ أَلَا بِذِكْرِ ٱللَّهِ تَطْمَئِنُّ ٱلْقُلُوبُ

Transliteration: Alladzina amanu wa tatma-innu qulubuhum bidzikrillah, ala bidzikrillahi tatma-innul-qulub.

Meaning: Those who believe and whose hearts find rest in the remembrance of Allah. Truly, in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest.

Source: Surah ar-Ra'd 13:28.

The du'a at the end of al-Baqarah
When: when a burden feels too heavy; also recited before sleep.

رَبَّنَا لَا تُؤَاخِذْنَآ إِن نَّسِينَآ أَوْ أَخْطَأْنَا ۚ رَبَّنَا وَلَا تَحْمِلْ عَلَيْنَآ إِصْرًۭا كَمَا حَمَلْتَهُۥ عَلَى ٱلَّذِينَ مِن قَبْلِنَا ۚ رَبَّنَا وَلَا تُحَمِّلْنَا مَا لَا طَاقَةَ لَنَا بِهِۦ ۖ وَٱعْفُ عَنَّا وَٱغْفِرْ لَنَا وَٱرْحَمْنَآ ۚ أَنتَ مَوْلَىٰنَا فَٱنصُرْنَا عَلَى ٱلْقَوْمِ ٱلْكَـٰفِرِينَ

Transliteration: Rabbana la tu-akhidzna in nasina au akhta'na, rabbana wa la tahmil 'alaina isran kama hamaltahu 'alalladzina min qablina, rabbana wa la tuhammilna ma la taqata lana bih, wa'fu 'anna, waghfir lana, warhamna, anta maulana fansurna 'alal-qaumil-kafirin.

Meaning: Our Lord, do not take us to task if we forget or err. Our Lord, do not lay on us a burden like that You laid on those before us. Our Lord, do not burden us with what we cannot bear. Pardon us, forgive us and have mercy on us. You are our Protector, so help us against the disbelieving people.

Source: Surah al-Baqarah 2:286. The beginning of this verse reminds us: "Allah does not burden a soul beyond its capacity."

11A husband's du'a for justice and strength

Tiada doa khusus "doa poligami" dalam al-Quran atau hadith sahih; berhati-hatilah dengan lafaz rekaan yang tersebar. Suami yang memikul amanah lebih daripada seorang isteri berpegang kepada doa-doa umum yang sahih ini, sambil mengingati amaran Surah an-Nisa' 4:129 supaya tidak condong sepenuhnya kepada seorang isteri.

The du'a of the Prophet Musa a.s. for an expanded chest
When: before talking with your wife or family, before applying for the court's permission, or when carrying a heavy responsibility.

رَبِّ ٱشْرَحْ لِى صَدْرِى وَيَسِّرْ لِىٓ أَمْرِى وَٱحْلُلْ عُقْدَةًۭ مِّن لِّسَانِى يَفْقَهُوا۟ قَوْلِى

Transliteration: Rabbisy-syrah li sadri, wa yassir li amri, wahlul 'uqdatan min lisani, yafqahu qauli.

Meaning: My Lord, expand my chest, ease my task for me, and untie the knot from my tongue so that they may understand my speech.

Source: Surah Taha 20:25–28.

The du'a seeking refuge from anxiety, weakness and the burden of debt
When: every morning and evening, especially under the pressure of maintaining two households.

اللَّهُمَّ إِنِّي أَعُوذُ بِكَ مِنَ الْهَمِّ وَالْحَزَنِ، وَالْعَجْزِ وَالْكَسَلِ، وَالْبُخْلِ وَالْجُبْنِ، وَضَلَعِ الدَّيْنِ، وَغَلَبَةِ الرِّجَالِ

Transliteration: Allahumma inni a'udzu bika minal-hammi wal-hazan, wal-'ajzi wal-kasal, wal-bukhli wal-jubn, wa dhala'id-daini wa ghalabatir-rijal.

Meaning: O Allah, I seek refuge in You from anxiety and sorrow, weakness and laziness, miserliness and cowardice, the burden of debt and being overpowered by men.

Source: Sahih al-Bukhari 6363 (hadith of Anas bin Malik); in Sahih al-Bukhari 6369 the order is al-jubni wal-bukhl.

12The du'a of a wife whose husband takes another wife, or when tested

Feeling sad, shocked or jealous when one's husband takes another wife is not a sin. The Sunnah teaches du'as that turn calamity into reward and hope — without requiring the wife to pretend to be happy, and without denying her right to claim justice through lawful channels.

The du'a when struck by calamity (the du'a of Umm Salamah)
When: on receiving painful news, or when grief returns.

إِنَّا لِلَّهِ وَإِنَّآ إِلَيْهِ رَٰجِعُونَ اللَّهُمَّ أْجُرْنِي فِي مُصِيبَتِي، وَأَخْلِفْ لِي خَيْرًا مِنْهَا

Transliteration: Inna lillahi wa inna ilaihi raji'un. Allahumma'jurni fi musibati wa akhlif li khairan minha.

Meaning: Truly we belong to Allah and to Him we return. O Allah, reward me in my calamity and replace it for me with something better.

Source: First part: Surah al-Baqarah 2:156. Full du'a: Sahih Muslim 918 — Umm Salamah r.a. recited it after the death of her husband Abu Salamah, and Allah replaced him for her with the Messenger of Allah ﷺ as her husband.

Words of reliance on Allah (tawakkul)
When: when feeling pressured by circumstances or by what people say.

حَسْبُنَا ٱللَّهُ وَنِعْمَ ٱلْوَكِيلُ

Transliteration: Hasbunallahu wa ni'mal-wakil.

Meaning: Allah is sufficient for us, and He is the best Disposer of affairs.

Source: Surah Ali 'Imran 3:173. Ibn 'Abbas r.a. said these words were spoken by the Prophet Ibrahim a.s. when he was thrown into the fire and by the Prophet Muhammad ﷺ when threatened by the enemy (Sahih al-Bukhari 4563).

The du'a of Surah al-Baqarah 2:286 and the isti'adzah in the previous section are also suitable. Combine du'a with practical steps: talking things through, getting counselling, and knowing your rights — see Rights of husband and wife.

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