🧭 Preparation & choosing a spouse · #30
Can I ask a go-between or an ustaz to help find me a spouse?
Yes, and indeed it is a praiseworthy and discreet way, because it helps protect the dignity of both parties.
The Companions of the Prophet ﷺ commonly acted as intermediaries; Umar r.a. himself offered his daughter Hafsah to other Companions before she was proposed to by the Prophet ﷺ. A good go-between is trustworthy, knows both parties, and conveys information honestly without embellishment. Such help is part of cooperating in goodness (al-Ma'idah 5:2). After being introduced, continue by asking questions, praying istikharah and involving the family. Avoid intermediaries who demand unreasonable fees or promise a "guaranteed match".
The Companions of the Prophet ﷺ commonly acted as intermediaries; Umar r.a. himself offered his daughter Hafsah to other Companions before she was proposed to by the Prophet ﷺ. A good go-between is trustworthy, knows both parties, and conveys information honestly without embellishment. Such help is part of cooperating in goodness (al-Ma'idah 5:2). After being introduced, continue by asking questions, praying istikharah and involving the family. Avoid intermediaries who demand unreasonable fees or promise a "guaranteed match".
Sources
Sahih al-Bukhari 5122 (the story of Umar offering Hafsah)Surah al-Ma'idah 5:2