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Q&A › Preparation & choosing a spouse

🧭 Preparation & choosing a spouse · #30

Can I ask a go-between or an ustaz to help find me a spouse?

Yes, and indeed it is a praiseworthy and discreet way, because it helps protect the dignity of both parties.
The Companions of the Prophet ﷺ commonly acted as intermediaries; Umar r.a. himself offered his daughter Hafsah to other Companions before she was proposed to by the Prophet ﷺ. A good go-between is trustworthy, knows both parties, and conveys information honestly without embellishment. Such help is part of cooperating in goodness (al-Ma'idah 5:2). After being introduced, continue by asking questions, praying istikharah and involving the family. Avoid intermediaries who demand unreasonable fees or promise a "guaranteed match".

Sources

Sahih al-Bukhari 5122 (the story of Umar offering Hafsah)Surah al-Ma'idah 5:2
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This answer is general reference, not a fatwa. For your situation, consult the religious affairs office, a Syarie lawyer or your state Syariah Court.

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