🧒 Raising children (tarbiyah) · #118

I feel I argue with my teenager every day over small things. Which ones should I let go?

Save your energy for what truly matters, and let the small things go to protect the relationship. Divide issues into three: core matters that are non-negotiable such as faith (akidah), prayer, safety and honesty; middle matters that can be negotiated; and trivial matters such as taste in clothes, tidying his room or hairstyle that can be left alone. When you are firm about everything, your important corrections lose their force because your child has grown numb to nagging. Choose just one or two main battlegrounds and win there calmly. Give him freedom to choose in small matters so that he learns to make his own decisions. Also read educating the family.

← PreviousI feel I need to secretly read my teenager's messages and diary to know how he is. Is that okay?Next →My teenager only does what I say when I get angry. How do I get him to listen without force?

Related questions

I always rescue my teenager from every mistake. Should I let him get things wrong?Letting a child bear the consequences of small mistakes is part of raising him to be an adult. When you e…I have found out my teenager has a boyfriend/girlfriend (‘couple’). How should I respond?Calm yourself first and approach him with love, because anger and shaming only push him away from you. Choose a private …I came across affectionate messages exchanged between my teenager and someone. What should I do?How you react the first time is very important, because it decides whether he will stay honest with you. A…My teenager feels inferior about her looks and body. How can I help her?Take her worries seriously, because feeling inferior about appearance is very real for teenagers. Avoid teasing…Should I tell my young child I love them and praise them out loud every day?A young child needs to hear that they are loved, not just assume it; words of love build their heart. Say ‘Mummy…I worry that my children feel they lack everything because they only have me. How do I put their hearts and mine at ease?What children remember most is not what they did not have, but feeling loved and safe with you. Avoid frequently apologising…

This answer is general reference, not a fatwa. For your situation, consult the religious affairs office, a Syarie lawyer or your state Syariah Court.

Comments or feedback

Read only by the MYPolygyny administrator — never published.

About Us · Ask · Site Map · Privacy · Editorial policy · Disclaimer