🧒 Raising children (tarbiyah) · #130

I have found out my teenager has a boyfriend/girlfriend (‘couple’). How should I respond?

Calm yourself first and approach him with love, because anger and shaming only push him away from you. Choose a private moment and ask gently, not accusingly. Listen to his feelings; attraction to the opposite sex at this age is natural (fitrah), but how it is handled needs guidance. Anas, who served the Prophet ﷺ for a long time, said the Prophet never rebuked him with: “why did you do this?” (Sahih al-Bukhari 6038). Explain honestly the boundaries of mixing and the risks of a relationship without commitment, then channel his feelings towards a halal future. Keep the relationship open so that he continues to trust you. See educating the family.

Sources

Sahih al-Bukhari 6038

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This answer is general reference, not a fatwa. For your situation, consult the religious affairs office, a Syarie lawyer or your state Syariah Court.

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