MYPolygyny.com
Knowledge for the Muslim household
Flashcards Lineage

Q&A › Raising children (tarbiyah)

🧒 Raising children (tarbiyah) · #119

My teenager only does what I say when I get angry. How do I get him to listen without force?

Rules only stick when the relationship behind them is warm, because without love instructions turn into battles. Teenagers accept guidance from people they feel love them, not from people who only watch for their mistakes. So invest in the relationship first: spend enjoyable time together, praise his effort, and show interest in his world without judging. When that bond is strong, your correction is heard because he knows it comes from love, not control. Try one warm gesture every day this week, such as asking about something he is interested in. Only after that discuss rules, in a tone of negotiation and not command. See educating the family.
← PreviousI feel I argue with my teenager every day over small things. Which ones should I let go?Next →I realise I am always correcting and criticising my teenager. How do I change?

Related questions

I found out my teenager has watched pornography. How do I discuss it without shaming him?Face this discovery with compassion, not overflowing anger, so that he does not carry shame and secrecy. Understand that ma…I worry that my children feel they lack everything because they only have me. How do I put their hearts and mine at ease?What children remember most is not what they did not have, but feeling loved and safe with you. Avoid frequently apologising…I realise I am always correcting and criticising my teenager. How do I change?That awareness itself is a good start, because constant criticism wears down a teenager’s spirit and pushes his hear…I lost my temper with my teenager yesterday. Should I apologise to him?Yes, apologising to your child does not lower your authority; in fact it teaches him what taking responsibility mean…I let slip my teenager's secret to a relative, and now he doesn't trust me. What should I do?Wounded trust can be rebuilt, but it demands time, honesty and patience from you. Start by admitting the mi…I have found out my teenager has a boyfriend/girlfriend (‘couple’). How should I respond?Calm yourself first and approach him with love, because anger and shaming only push him away from you. Choose a private …
This answer is general reference, not a fatwa. For your situation, consult the religious affairs office, a Syarie lawyer or your state Syariah Court.

Comments or feedback

Read only by the MYPolygyny administrator — never published.

🔒 Do not include sensitive personal details. Privacy notice

About Us · Ask · Site Map · Privacy · Editorial policy · Disclaimer