🧒 Raising children (tarbiyah) · #209

I worry that my children feel they lack everything because they only have me. How do I put their hearts and mine at ease?

What children remember most is not what they did not have, but feeling loved and safe with you. Avoid frequently apologising for the family's situation, because that teaches children to see themselves as lacking. Instead, highlight what is there: love, time together and the values you instil. Give attention, not compensation in the form of things you cannot afford. Allow your children to be sad about the absence of their mother or father without feeling you have failed. Build happy memories that are simple and free. A small family full of love is still a whole family. See educating the family.

← PreviousMy son is growing up without a father. How do I make sure he has good male role models?Next →After divorce, how do I explain their father's absence to my young children without speaking ill of him?

Related questions

The children are confused because the rules at my home and at their mother's home are very different. What should I do?Accept that two homes will not be the same, and focus on keeping your own home’s rules consistently. Children can l…I am a single father and my daughter is entering her teens. How do I guide her in matters I understand less?A teenage daughter needs knowledge, trust, and a trusted woman for the matters you find hard to explain. Build an open relation…The children in my home look down on their siblings in the other home because their circumstances differ. What should I do?That attitude of looking down must be corrected promptly because it contradicts family values and humility. C…The children have started carrying the rivalry between me and my co-wife into their relationships with each other. What should I do?The hostility of adults should not be inherited by innocent children. Children learn from what they hear; if they o…My children and my co-wife's children are always jealous and fighting when they meet. What should I do?The friction often comes from competing for their father’s attention, not because they truly hate one a…My child seems to feel guilty when he is kind to his stepmother. How can I help him?Assure your child that loving his stepmother is not a betrayal of his birth mother. A child caught betwee…

This answer is general reference, not a fatwa. For your situation, consult the religious affairs office, a Syarie lawyer or your state Syariah Court.

Comments or feedback

Read only by the MYPolygyny administrator — never published.

About Us · Ask · Site Map · Privacy · Editorial policy · Disclaimer