🧒 Raising children (tarbiyah) · #210

After divorce, how do I explain their father's absence to my young children without speaking ill of him?

Explain honestly in a way suited to their age, and avoid speaking ill of their father in front of them even if your heart is hurt. Children build their identity partly from both parents; running one of them down wounds the child himself. Say that Mummy and Daddy no longer live together but both still love him, if that is true and safe. Answer questions briefly and honestly without dragging your child into adult conflict. Assure your child that the separation is not his fault. If the father could harm the child, safety comes first: call the police on 999 in an emergency, and Talian Kasih on 15999 for advice on the next steps. A counsellor can help your child express his feelings. See educating the family.

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This answer is general reference, not a fatwa. For your situation, consult the religious affairs office, a Syarie lawyer or your state Syariah Court.

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