🧭 Preparation & choosing a spouse · #29

When I ask people about my future spouse's character, is that backbiting?

No; asking about and giving honest information on a prospective spouse for the purpose of marriage is permissible, and is even a form of sincere advice.
Fatimah bint Qais r.a. sought the Prophet's ﷺ view on two suitors, and he honestly mentioned the shortcomings of each and suggested Usamah. Imam an-Nawawi lists consultation in marriage matters among the situations in which ghibah is permitted. The conditions: ask people who truly know the person, mention only relevant matters, do not exaggerate, and have a sincere intention. The person asked must in turn be honest and not hide important matters — religion is sincere advice.

Sources

Sahih Muslim, Kitab at-TalaqSahih Muslim, Kitab al-Imanan-Nawawi, Riyadh as-Salihin (chapter on permitted backbiting)

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Related questions

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This answer is general reference, not a fatwa. For your situation, consult the religious affairs office, a Syarie lawyer or your state Syariah Court.

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