💍 Khitbah & engagement · #20

May a woman or her family propose to a man first?

Yes, and it does not diminish her dignity if done in a good way.
Khadijah r.a. herself expressed her wish to marry the Prophet ﷺ through the intermediary Nafisah binti Munyah. Sahih al-Bukhari has a chapter on a woman offering herself to a righteous man, and Anas r.a. praised that woman for her desire for good when his daughter questioned what she had done. The Qur'an also records the father of the two women of Madyan offering his daughter to Prophet Musa a.s. (al-Qasas 28:27). The best way is through a wali, family member or trusted intermediary, so that dignity is preserved and an answer can be given calmly. The marriage contract still requires a wali for the bride. See khitbah.

Sources

Surah al-Qasas 28:26-27Narrated by al-Bukhari (chapter on a woman offering herself to a righteous man)Sirah Ibn Hisyam

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This answer is general reference, not a fatwa. For your situation, consult the religious affairs office, a Syarie lawyer or your state Syariah Court.

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