Jika orang bertanya pendapat saya tentang lelaki yang meminang anaknya, bolehkah saya ceritakan keburukannya?

Boleh, malah wajib berkata benar apabila diminta nasihat, setakat yang perlu sahaja. Ulama mengecualikan nasihat perkahwinan daripada larangan ghibah. Apabila Fatimah binti Qais meminta nasihat tentang Mu'awiyah dan Abu Jahm, Nabi ﷺ menyebut bahawa Mu'awiyah miskin dan Abu Jahm tidak meletakkan tongkat dari bahunya (keras terhadap wanita). Nabi ﷺ juga bersabda bahawa orang yang diminta pendapat adalah orang yang diamanahkan. Batasnya: sebut hanya fakta yang relevan kepada perkahwinan seperti akhlak, agama atau tanggungjawab, bukan dosa lama yang sudah ditaubati dan tidak memberi kesan, jangan menokok tambah, dan jangan menceritakannya kepada orang lain yang tidak bertanya.

Soal Jawab › Khitbah & pertunangan

💍 Khitbah & pertunangan · #28

If someone asks my opinion about a man proposing to their daughter, may I mention his faults?

Yes, and it is even obligatory to speak truthfully when asked for advice, but only as far as necessary.
Scholars exempt advice about marriage from the prohibition of backbiting (ghibah). When Fatimah binti Qais asked for advice about Mu'awiyah and Abu Jahm, the Prophet ﷺ mentioned that Mu'awiyah was poor and Abu Jahm did not put his stick down from his shoulder (was harsh towards women). The Prophet ﷺ also said that the one whose advice is sought is entrusted. The limits: mention only facts relevant to the marriage such as character, religion or responsibility, not old sins that have been repented of and have no bearing, do not embellish, and do not tell it to others who did not ask.

Sumber

Sahih Muslim 1480Narrated by Abu Dawud and at-Tirmidhi (hasan): 'al-mustasyar mu'taman' (the one consulted is entrusted)

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Soalan berkaitan

May we investigate or ask people about a prospective spouse's background?Yes, and it is encouraged, because marriage is a big decision that needs true information. Ask peo…A married man wants ta'aruf with me with a view to polygyny. What should I ask?Ask about the things that determine justice and stability: his means, whether the existing wife knows, and his plans for carrying it ou…Must I tell my prospective spouse about my illness or disability?Yes, a disability or illness that affects the marriage must be disclosed; hiding it is deception. F…May one propose to a woman who is still in her ʿiddah?It is forbidden to propose openly to a woman still in her ʿiddah; in the ʿiddah of a revocable (raj'i) talaq, even hinting is forbidden. A woman in…A married man wants to propose. Must he disclose his marital status?Yes, he must be frank with the woman and her wali that he is already married. Hiding his marital status is…May I refuse a proposal from a man my parents have chosen?Yes; marriage requires your consent, and refusing for a reasonable cause is not disobedience. The hadith of Khansa' bint Khid…

Jawapan ini rujukan umum, bukan fatwa. Untuk keadaan anda, rujuk pejabat agama, peguam syarie atau Mahkamah Syariah negeri.

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