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💍 Khitbah & engagement · #4

What is the ruling on proposing to a woman who has already been proposed to by another man?

It is forbidden to propose to a woman who has accepted another man's proposal, unless the first man withdraws or gives permission.
The Prophet ﷺ said that a man may not propose over his brother's proposal until the earlier suitor abandons it or permits him. This prohibition protects feelings, dignity and good relations between families. In the Shafi'i school, the prohibition applies once the first proposal has been clearly accepted by the woman or her wali. If the first proposal was declined, or no answer has yet been given, another man may propose. The evidence is the hadith of Fatimah bint Qais, who was proposed to by two men at once, and the Prophet ﷺ advised her to choose Usamah. If someone nonetheless proposes and marries in that forbidden situation, he is sinful but the marriage is valid according to the majority.
Difference of madhhab. The majority hold that such a marriage is valid though sinful. Some Maliki scholars hold that the marriage is dissolved (fasakh) if it has not been consummated.

Sources

Sahih al-Bukhari 5142Sahih Muslim, Kitab an-NikahSahih Muslim, Kitab at-Talaq
← PreviousWhich parts of a woman being proposed to may be seen? May she be seen without a headscarf?Next →We are engaged. May we go out to eat or for outings together, just the two of us?

Related questions

A man who already has four wives: may he get engaged to another woman first?No; proposing to a woman whom he may not lawfully marry at that time is forbidden. The maximum number of wives at one time is…Which parts of a woman being proposed to may be seen? May she be seen without a headscarf?According to the Shafi'i school, only the face and both palms may be seen; the woman need not remove her headscarf. …May a man see the face of the woman he intends to propose to?Yes, it is in fact recommended to look at the woman one intends to propose to, with the intention of marriage. Al-Mughirah bin Syu'bah once pro…A married man wants to propose. Must he disclose his marital status?Yes, he must be honest with the woman and her wali that he is already married. Concealing marital status…May a woman also look at the man proposing to her?Yes, it is also recommended for a woman to look at the man proposing to her, for the same reason. The wisdom of looking is so that the marri…May a woman or her family propose to a man first?Yes, and it does not lower her dignity if done in a good way. Khadijah r.a. herself expressed her wish …
This answer is general reference, not a fatwa. For your situation, consult the religious affairs office, a Syarie lawyer or your state Syariah Court.

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