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💍 Khitbah & engagement · #17

May a woman also look at the man proposing to her?

Yes, it is also recommended (sunnah) for a woman to see the man who proposes to her, for the same reason.
The wisdom of seeing is so that the marriage is built on willing consent and lasting affection, and a woman has the same right to be satisfied with her prospective husband. Scholars of the Shafi'i school state that a woman may look at the man who proposes to her. Moreover, a woman's consent is required in marriage; the Prophet ﷺ rejected the marriage of Khansa' binti Khidham, who was married off without her consent. Meetings should be chaperoned, without khalwat or touching. A woman also has the right to ask about the man's religion, character, work, health and marital status. See khitbah.

Sources

Sunan at-Tirmidhi 1087 (hasan)Sahih al-Bukhari 5138
← PreviousShould one pray istikharah before accepting a proposal? How does one know the answer?Next →May I look at the woman discreetly without her knowing?

Related questions

May a man look at the face of the woman he intends to propose to?Yes, it is in fact recommended to look at the woman one intends to propose to, with the intention of marriage. Al-Mughirah bin Shu'bah once…Which parts of a woman being proposed to may be seen? May it be without a headscarf?According to the Shafi'i school, only the face and both palms may be seen; the woman need not remove her headscarf. …A man who already has four wives — may he get engaged to another woman first?No; proposing to a woman who is not yet lawful to marry at that time is forbidden. The maximum number of wives at one time is…The woman has already been proposed to but has not yet answered. May I propose to her too?In the Shafi'i school, it is permitted as long as the first proposal has not been clearly accepted. The prohibition on proposing over another's proposal…May I look at the woman discreetly without her knowing?Yes, according to the Shafi'i school, and it better protects the woman's feelings if the man ultimately does not go ahead with the proposal.…May a woman or her family propose to a man first?Yes, and it does not lower her dignity if done in a good way. Khadijah r.a. herself expressed her wish …
This answer is general reference, not a fatwa. For your situation, consult the religious affairs office, a Syarie lawyer or your state Syariah Court.

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