How do I encourage my spouse to get help without using divorce as a threat?

Using divorce as a threat at every disagreement weakens a marriage and rarely brings sincere change. Change driven by fear does not last as long as change that comes from awareness. Share your worry honestly: ‘I am worried about us, and I want us to get help together.’ Focus on the hope of improving, not threats of separation. Show that you are ready to change too, not only demanding that your spouse changes. If your spouse still refuses, keep improving yourself through counselling. Save discussions about the future of the marriage for calm moments, not times of anger. See communication & emotions.