We are always keeping score of who does more housework. How do we stop this counting?

Housework goes more smoothly when it is seen as a shared trust, not a debt that has to be repaid in equal shares. The Prophet ﷺ himself helped with his family's work at home, so helping does not lower anyone. Sit down together and divide the tasks according to ability and time, not by gender alone, then review them when circumstances change. Instead of counting who does more, ask ‘what can I help with today?’ Appreciate each other's efforts by saying thank you. Make every task an intention of service to the family that earns reward. See rights of husband and wife.