Every night we just stare at our own phones. How do we start talking to each other again?

Start with one short phone-free period each day, rather than banning phones altogether. Choose a reasonable time, perhaps fifteen minutes after dinner, and leave the phones in another room so there is no temptation. Fill that time by asking about each other's day, not only about bills or the children. If it feels awkward at first, begin with one light question. Keep it fixed every night until it becomes a habit you both look forward to. Fifteen minutes of full attention is worth more than an hour sitting together while attending to a screen. See everyday adab.