Before going to a counsellor, can I confide in a friend or relative first?

Confiding in someone trustworthy and discreet can bring relief, but choose your listener carefully. A mature friend who keeps secrets can offer support and calming perspectives. But avoid spreading your spouse's faults to many people or to those who like to gossip, because that damages their dignity and rarely solves the problem. Be careful too with advice from people who lack knowledge or are one-sided. For deep or recurring problems, a trained counsellor is better able to help than a friend you simply vent to. Choose whom you talk to as wisely as you choose what you share. See communication & emotions.