🤝 Existing wife & prospective wife · #163

I am jealous of my husband's memories and long history with his first wife. How do I accept it?

Your husband's history with his first family is part of his life that cannot and need not be erased; accepting it is a sign of maturity. Jealousy of the past is tormenting because it fights something that cannot be changed. Shift your focus from his past to the present and the future you are building with him. Build your own memories and experiences with your husband, because that is within your control. Avoid digging into or comparing details of his history; it only adds to the wound. If this feeling dominates your thoughts, counselling can help you let it go. Every relationship has its own story; concentrate on writing yours, not rereading someone else's. See mental health.

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This answer is general reference, not a fatwa. For your situation, consult the religious affairs office, a Syarie lawyer or your state Syariah Court.

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