I feel that making peace first after a fight is like admitting defeat. Is that true?

The one who makes peace first is not the loser, but the one with the strongest soul and the most honoured in Allah's sight. About two people who turn away from each other, the Prophet ﷺ said: “The better of the two is the one who greets first” (Sahih al-Bukhari 6077). Waiting for your spouse to move first only prolongs the coldness and torments you both. Making peace first does not mean you admit you were entirely wrong; it means you put the relationship above your ego. Start with something simple such as a greeting of salam, a smile, or offering food. Intend it for Allah's sake and out of love, not to win sympathy. A heart that is quick to make peace invites mercy into the home. See trials in a marriage.

Sources

Sahih al-Bukhari 6077

← PreviousMy spouse likes to quote religious texts to win arguments. Is that right?Next →Every time my spouse forgets or makes a mistake, I immediately assume it was deliberate. How do I change this thinking?

Related questions

In every fight I feel my spouse is the one at fault. Should I admit my mistake first?Almost every conflict has two sides, and admitting your side first often melts your spouse’s defences. Start by hone…I am jealous because my spouse seems to put their mother and siblings before me. What should I do?The feeling of being sidelined needs to be heard, but devotion to family is not a rival to their love for you. Your s…My spouse is a little jealous and I feel bothered. Should I see it as a sign of love?Ghirah in proportion is a sign your spouse cares, and accepting it graciously is different from submitting to control. N…I am relieved my husband has not taken another wife, but I feel guilty as if I am rejecting a sunnah. Is this feeling wrong?Feeling relieved at the peace of your home is not a sin, and it does not mean you reject Allah’s law. Polygyny is a…My parents did not look after me well in the past. Must I still be devoted to them now that they are old?Your parents’ right to be treated well remains great, even if they were imperfect in raising you. Being good to…My spouse feels neglected because I still often go out with friends after marrying. How do I balance this?Marriage does not require you to drop all your friends, but your priority now moves to your spouse and your home. Your spouse…

This answer is general reference, not a fatwa. For your situation, consult the religious affairs office, a Syarie lawyer or your state Syariah Court.

Comments or feedback

Read only by the MYPolygyny administrator — never published.

About Us · Ask · Site Map · Privacy · Editorial policy · Disclaimer