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💍 Khitbah & pertunangan · #22

Must parents obtain their daughter's consent before accepting a proposal?

Yes, a daughter's consent is very important, and for a previously married woman it must be given explicitly.
The Prophet ﷺ said: "A previously married woman is not married until she is consulted (explicitly), and a virgin is not married until her permission is sought." When asked how a virgin gives permission, he answered: "Her silence." Khansa' binti Khidham, whose father married her off without her consent, complained, and the Prophet ﷺ annulled that marriage. Accepting a proposal on a daughter's behalf without asking can lead to an engagement that has to be broken off later. Under Islamic family law in Malaysia, the consent of both parties is also required to register the marriage. See the marriage guardian (wali).
Difference among the schools. The Shafi'i school allows a father or grandfather (wali mujbir) to marry off a virgin daughter without her permission under strict conditions, yet seeking her permission remains strongly recommended. The Hanafi school requires the consent of an adult woman.

Sumber

Sahih al-Bukhari 5136Sahih Muslim 1419Sahih al-Bukhari 5138
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Soalan berkaitan

Should one pray istikharah before accepting a proposal? How do I know the answer?Praying istikharah is recommended, and the answer does not necessarily come through a dream. Jabir r.a. narrated that the Prophet ﷺ taught…May a father offer his daughter in marriage to a righteous man?Yes, indeed it was the practice of the Companions and is mentioned in the Qur'an. Umar al-Khattab r.a., after Hafsah was widowed, off…May I reject a proposal from a man my parents have chosen?Yes; marriage requires your free consent, and refusing for a reasonable reason is not disobedience. The hadith of Khansa' binti Khid…How do I decline a proposal kindly without causing offence?Decline promptly, briefly, politely and through the same channel the proposal came. Do not delay the answer too…May the fiancé himself put the ring on his fiancée's finger?No, because skin contact with a non-mahram is forbidden even after engagement. According to the Shafi'i school,…May a married man become engaged to a prospective second wife before obtaining court permission?The engagement itself is not wrong, but a polygynous marriage contract may not be made before the court's written permission is obt…
Jawapan ini rujukan umum, bukan fatwa. Untuk keadaan anda, rujuk pejabat agama, peguam syarie atau Mahkamah Syariah negeri.

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