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💍 Khitbah & engagement · #22

Must parents obtain their daughter's consent before accepting a proposal?

Yes, a daughter's consent is very important, and for a previously married woman it must be given explicitly.
The Prophet ﷺ said: "A previously married woman is not married until she is consulted (explicitly), and a virgin is not married until her permission is sought." When asked how a virgin gives permission, he answered: "Her silence." Khansa' binti Khidham, whose father married her off without her consent, complained, and the Prophet ﷺ annulled that marriage. Accepting a proposal on a daughter's behalf without asking can lead to an engagement that has to be broken off later. Under Islamic family law in Malaysia, the consent of both parties is also required to register the marriage. See the marriage guardian (wali).
Difference among the schools. The Shafi'i school allows a father or grandfather (wali mujbir) to marry off a virgin daughter without her permission under strict conditions, yet seeking her permission remains strongly recommended. The Hanafi school requires the consent of an adult woman.

Sources

Sahih al-Bukhari 5136Sahih Muslim, Kitab an-NikahSahih al-Bukhari 5138
← PreviousMay a father offer his daughter in marriage to a righteous man?Next →May I reject a proposal from a man my parents have chosen?

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This answer is general reference, not a fatwa. For your situation, consult the religious affairs office, a Syarie lawyer or your state Syariah Court.

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