🕊️ Conflict & resolution · #158

My unfaithful spouse is now blaming me as the cause. How should I understand this?

Shifting the blame onto you is a common way for the guilty party to avoid responsibility, and it does not make you the cause of the betrayal. Marital problems, if there truly are any, are shared by both sides, but the decision to cheat is made by one person alone. Do not accept a burden that is not yours simply because it is repeated over and over. At the same time, assess honestly whether there are things in the relationship that genuinely need improving, without making them an excuse for the betrayal. State calmly that you are ready to repair the relationship, but will not carry the blame for their infidelity. If conversations always circle back to blaming you, a counsellor can act as a go-between. See counselling.

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This answer is general reference, not a fatwa. For your situation, consult the religious affairs office, a Syarie lawyer or your state Syariah Court.

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