🤝 Existing wife & prospective wife · #154

I feel I am only the 'second choice' in my husband's life. How do I let go of this feeling?

The order of marriage does not determine your worth; a later wife is not a less loved or less honoured one. Feeling like a second choice usually comes from comparing yourself with the first wife. Shift the measure from position to the quality of your own relationship with your husband and with Allah. Share this feeling with your husband so he understands and can reassure you through his actions. Nurture your self-worth through worship, knowledge and your contribution to family and community. A woman's honour before Allah is measured by her taqwa (God-consciousness), not by when she was married. If this feeling weakens you, seek a counsellor's support. See mental health.

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This answer is general reference, not a fatwa. For your situation, consult the religious affairs office, a Syarie lawyer or your state Syariah Court.

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