MYPolygyny.com
Knowledge for the Muslim household
Flashcards Lineage

Q&A › Existing wife & prospective wife

🤝 Existing wife & prospective wife · #156

My husband's family clearly takes the first wife's side in every dispute. How should I conduct myself?

Your husband's family's partiality usually comes from long-standing ties and habit, not necessarily because you are at fault. Do not try to win a competition to be the favourite daughter-in-law; that is exhausting and pointless. Focus on building your own relationship with them through good character and respect, without expecting them to take your side. Avoid dragging family into marital quarrels; settle issues with your husband directly. Ask your husband to be fair and not let his family wrong you. If the treatment becomes excessively insulting, discuss it with your husband and keep a healthy distance. Time and courtesy often change people's views. See relationships between co-wives.
← PreviousPeople tell me to be patient as a second wife, but I feel pressured from bottling everything up. What should I do?Next →My husband is fair in the rota and maintenance, but my heart is still not satisfied. What is wrong?

Related questions

My husband wants me to move close to his first wife's home, but I am not comfortable. Can I refuse?You are entitled to a home that protects your comfort and dignity, so your concerns about the location deserve to be heard. …Every time the first wife's child is ill, my husband leaves during my turn. Is it right for me to feel hurt?An urgent need such as a sick child is a reasonable excuse, but it should not become a recurring reason that neglects y…I am jealous of my husband's late first wife, who is still mentioned and remembered. Am I sinning?Your feelings are human and not sinful, but remembering someone who has passed away with kindness is noble character,…I am a second wife and often feel guilty towards the first wife. How do I deal with it?A valid marriage is not a sin, so your guilt should not become a lasting punishment. The feeling can …I feel I am only the 'second choice' in my husband's life. How do I let go of this feeling?The order of marriage does not determine your worth; a later wife is not a less loved or less honoured one. Feeling l…How do I explain the shape of our family to my children without planting hatred?Children need an explanation that is honest, calm and suited to their age, not a story that plants hostility towards th…
This answer is general reference, not a fatwa. For your situation, consult the religious affairs office, a Syarie lawyer or your state Syariah Court.

Comments or feedback

Read only by the MYPolygyny administrator — never published.

🔒 Do not include sensitive personal details. Privacy notice

About Us · Ask · Site Map · Privacy · Editorial policy · Disclaimer