🤝 Existing wife & prospective wife · #185

My husband often asks the children to carry messages between my home and my co-wife's. Is that a good idea?

Children should not be made messengers or go-betweens between two homes, because that burden is too heavy for their shoulders. They easily get trapped between the two sides and feel guilty for no reason. Talk with your husband so that matters between the homes are handled directly between the adults, not through the children's mouths. If a child lets a story slip, do not interrogate or scold them. Let children be children, not envoys or spies. Protect their young hearts from tensions that are not their business. See children & polygyny.

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This answer is general reference, not a fatwa. For your situation, consult the religious affairs office, a Syarie lawyer or your state Syariah Court.

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