How can we reconcile ourselves before the matter goes to court?

Reconciling yourselves starts with one calm conversation, not with waiting for the other side to give in first. Choose a time when you are both free and not angry, then go through the issues one by one, taking turns without interrupting. Look for a middle way both sides can accept, and write down what you agree so it is not forgotten. Islam teaches: “and reconciliation is better” (Surah an-Nisa' 4:128). If it is too hard to manage between the two of you, ask a fair family arbiter (hakam), or a Sulh Officer at the Syariah Court, who helps couples reach agreement without a long trial. See counselling.