Every time there is a problem, we become like two opponents. How do we become a team?

Put the problem in front of you both as a shared enemy, rather than making your spouse the enemy. Allah describes the believing men and women as “protectors one of another” (Surah at-Taubah 9:71). Change your thinking from ‘me against them’ to ‘us against this problem’. Sit side by side, not facing each other as in a debate, and write down the problem and the possible solutions together. Celebrate each time you overcome something as a team. When your spouse feels you are on their side, they cooperate more easily. Marriage is a lifelong partnership, not a contest of winners and losers. See rights of husband and wife.