💍 Khitbah & engagement · #83

Who should go in the proposal party, and how many people is reasonable?

Bring people who can speak for the family and are respected by both sides; there is no need for a large number. Usually the party is led by the father or an uncle, with the mother and one or two close relatives. Choose a calm spokesperson who knows the local customs, because he will be the one discussing the date, the mahr and the gifts (hantaran). Ask the woman's family first how many people they are comfortable receiving, so the hosts are not burdened. A party that is too large adds cost and stress without adding blessing. The groom-to-be may come or not, according to the custom of both families. See engagement ceremony: sunnah or custom.

← PreviousThe family making the enquiry asked personal questions such as salary and health history. Must we answer everything?Next →What should be agreed at the proposal so that misunderstandings do not arise later?

Related questions

My father has passed away. Who should receive the proposal party on my behalf?Ideally your next wali (guardian), such as your paternal grandfather or full brother, because he is the one who will marry yo…My parents are divorced. At whose house should the proposal delegation come?The one who formally receives the proposal is your wali, that is, your father, even if you live with your mother. T…What should be agreed at the proposal so that misunderstandings do not arise later?Agree clearly on the key matters: the length of the engagement, the rough date of the nikah, the mahr, the gifts (hantaran) and wh…I am a mother asked to make the first enquiry (merisik) for my son. What questions are appropriate to ask the girl's family?Ask things that help the two families make a decision, not things that embarrass the hosts. Start by asking whether the …What are examples of permitted hints (ta'rid) when proposing to a widow in her ʿiddah?Ta'rid is a general expression that hints at interest without stating a proposal clearly. For example: "Many will be interest…May one propose to a woman who is still in her ʿiddah?It is forbidden to propose openly to a woman still in her ʿiddah; in the ʿiddah of a raj'i talaq, even a hint is forbidden. A woman in…

This answer is general reference, not a fatwa. For your situation, consult the religious affairs office, a Syarie lawyer or your state Syariah Court.

Comments or feedback

Read only by the MYPolygyny administrator — never published.

About Us · Ask · Site Map · Privacy · Editorial policy · Disclaimer