I want to settle things straight away, but my spouse wants to withdraw first. How do we meet in the middle?

Many couples get caught in a cycle of pursuing and withdrawing, and both sides need to move towards the middle. The one who wants to talk needs to learn to give space without chasing, and the one who wants to withdraw needs to promise to come back, not disappear altogether. Try agreeing like this: ‘Let's take an hour's break, then sit down and talk.’ Space is not rejection, and wanting to talk is not an attack; both are different ways of handling stress. Respect your spouse's needs while making sure the issue is not left open forever. Once this cycle is understood, it stops being a fight about fighting. See communication & emotions.