🤝 Existing wife & prospective wife · #188

My co-wife has just had a baby. Should I congratulate her even though my feelings are mixed?

Congratulating her is a kindness that takes nothing away from you, and even calms your own heart. Mixed feelings are natural and do not make you a bad person; what matters is the action you choose. A short message of congratulations and a prayer for the baby is enough, without forcing yourself to be overly warm. Allah says: “And do not covet that in which Allah has favoured some of you over others” (Surah an-Nisa' 4:32); everyone has their own share. If your heart is still heavy, it is enough not to say anything bad and to pray for them quietly. Small kindnesses like this often come back to you as peace. See co-wife relations.

Sources

Surah an-Nisa' 4:32

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This answer is general reference, not a fatwa. For your situation, consult the religious affairs office, a Syarie lawyer or your state Syariah Court.

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