How can I get emotional support without backbiting or making my husband look bad?

You can unburden yourself and get help by choosing the right listener and talking about your feelings, not exposing your husband's faults. There is a difference between ‘I feel lonely and confused’ and listing your husband's faults to anyone at all. Choose someone trustworthy and knowledgeable, such as a counsellor, or a mature friend who keeps secrets and does not fan the flames. If you are seeking religious advice, describe the situation just enough to get guidance, not to slander. Protecting your husband's dignity even when you are hurt protects the children and the possibility of reconciling. If you feel very burdened, a professional counsellor gives you a safe, confidential space to pour out everything. See counselling.