Q&A › Character & conduct between spouses

🤍 Character & conduct between spouses · #214

My husband is strict and harsh with the family. How can I encourage him to be gentler?

Gentleness is not weakness; it adorns every matter in the home and strengthens the obedience that comes from love. The Prophet ﷺ said: “Indeed, gentleness is not found in anything except that it adorns it, and it is not removed from anything except that it disfigures it” (Sahih Muslim, Book of Righteousness, Joining Ties of Kinship and Good Manners). Show its effect through your own calm example, not by meeting harshness with harshness. Praise him when he is gentle, so he sees that it is appreciated. Talk when he is calm, and share how a gentle tone is easier for the children to follow. If the harshness goes as far as hurting you or the children, safety comes first: call the police on 999 if you are in danger, or Talian Kasih on 15999 for support. See counselling.

Sources

Sahih Muslim, Kitab al-Birr wa as-Silah wa al-Adab (Book of Virtue, Joining of Ties and Good Manners)

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This answer is general reference, not a fatwa. For your situation, consult the religious affairs office, a Syarie lawyer or your state Syariah Court.

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