⚖️ Polygyny: rulings & justice · #29
Must a husband give each wife equal intimacy?
In the Shafi'i school, what must be equal is the rotation of nights, not the number of intimate encounters, because desire is not always within one's control.
However, a husband may not deliberately hold back from one wife to save his energy for another, because that counts as harm and the inclination forbidden in Surah an-Nisa' 4:129. Every wife is entitled to intimacy in a reasonable manner so that she is protected from temptation. If a wife feels her right has been neglected over a long period, she may talk it over, seek counselling, or refer the matter to the Syariah Court. See Fiqh of polygyny and Counselling.
However, a husband may not deliberately hold back from one wife to save his energy for another, because that counts as harm and the inclination forbidden in Surah an-Nisa' 4:129. Every wife is entitled to intimacy in a reasonable manner so that she is protected from temptation. If a wife feels her right has been neglected over a long period, she may talk it over, seek counselling, or refer the matter to the Syariah Court. See Fiqh of polygyny and Counselling.
Difference between schools. The Hanbalis hold that the husband must be intimate with his wife at least once every four months if there is no valid excuse; the Shafi'is set no specific obligatory limit but urge that it not be neglected.
Sources
Surah an-Nisa' 4:129Surah an-Nisa' 4:19