An in-law keeps depending on us for money and for all their affairs. How do we set boundaries?

Helping a relative is good, but helping someone who is able to stand on their own until they stay dependent is not true kindness. Distinguish between urgent needs and dependence that has become a habit. For matters they can handle themselves, encourage and teach rather than take over completely. Talk with your spouse so the two of you agree on a limit to the help, and convey it to your in-law gently but clearly. Offer non-financial help when suitable, such as advice or guidance in finding work. Setting these boundaries protects family ties from being damaged by debt and disappointment. Intend long-term good for them, not merely easing the present situation. See family finances.