We are divorced but often argue about the children. How do we manage shared parenting well?

Make the child's welfare the meeting point, not winning or losing. The Quran, speaking of nursing a child after separation, describes the decision being made “by mutual consent and consultation between the two” (Surah al-Baqarah 2:233). Write down a clear schedule for visits, school holidays and festivals, and discuss changes early. Use one calm messaging channel and avoid making the child the messenger. Do not run down your former spouse in front of the child. If discussions keep failing, ask for family counselling at the Islamic religious office, or apply for a court order setting visiting conditions under Act 303 s.87. See Hadhanah & lineage.