When should we bring in a mediator to resolve a conflict?

Bring in a mediator when talking between yourselves repeatedly reaches a dead end, emotions are too heated to hear each other, or one of you is afraid to speak up. A fair mediator can calm things down and open a safer space for both sides. The Qur'an advises: “then appoint an arbiter (hakam) from his family and an arbiter from her family” (Surah an-Nisa' 4:35). Choose someone trusted, impartial and discreet — not someone who likes to talk. If your own families are too emotionally involved, the family counsellor at the state Islamic religious office is a more neutral choice. See family counselling when needed.