🧒 Raising children (tarbiyah) · #152

My teenager feels forced to take sides between me and her father. What should I do?

Your child should not be forced to take sides; she has the right to love both her parents without guilt. Teenagers caught in adults' disputes often carry heavy hidden stress. Avoid asking about her father's affairs or the other household, and do not make her the messenger between the two of you. Tell her clearly that she is free to love her father, and that this does not hurt you. Focus on being a safe place for her to share her feelings, not a place where she hears your complaints. If she seems stressed for a long time, get help from a counsellor. The burden of choosing is too heavy for a teenager's shoulders. See children in polygyny for further guidance.

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This answer is general reference, not a fatwa. For your situation, consult the religious affairs office, a Syarie lawyer or your state Syariah Court.

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