🧒 Raising children (tarbiyah) · #138

My teenage daughter wears the tudung (headscarf) at school but takes it off outside. How do I guide her?

A tudung worn under compulsion seldom lasts; your aim is a convinced heart, not just the cloth. That she wears it at school shows she has not rejected it completely, and that is a good starting point. Choose a calm time to ask about her feelings without accusing, because there is usually a reason: discomfort, fear of being teased, or not yet seeing its meaning. Explain the purpose of covering the aurat gently and link it to her own dignity, not just a prohibition. Be the example, because a mother and older sister who are steadfast are more convincing than a thousand reminders. Pray for her and give her time, because guidance (hidayah) belongs to Allah and your task is only to sow. Further guidance is in educating the family.

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This answer is general reference, not a fatwa. For your situation, consult the religious affairs office, a Syarie lawyer or your state Syariah Court.

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