My spouse and I disagree about how, and how much, to care for our parents. How do we reach agreement?

Disagreeing about caring for parents is common, because each person brings different family ties and experiences. Start by listening to your spouse's real concerns: they may be about time, money, space at home, or the effect on the children. Separate the financial issues from the emotional ones so the discussion is clearer. Look for a middle way that fairly fulfils the rights of both sets of parents without sacrificing your own household. Make decisions through discussion, not by siding only with your own family. If you are stuck and tense, a family counsellor can help the two of you talk without hurting each other. See communication & emotions.