When my spouse raises their voice, I end up shouting back. How do I break the cycle?

Answering shouting with shouting only adds fuel to the fire; one of you has to choose to calm down first. Allah says: “Repel (evil) with what is better; then the one between whom and you there was enmity will become as though he were a close friend” (Surah Fussilat 41:34). When your spouse gets loud, lower your voice; a calm tone often softens the mood faster than words. Say, ‘I want to listen, but let's talk a bit more quietly.’ If they keep getting louder, ask for a pause and continue when things have calmed down. Choosing calm is not losing; it is taking control of the situation in a way Allah praises. See communication & emotions.

Sources

Surah Fussilat 41:34

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This answer is general reference, not a fatwa. For your situation, consult the religious affairs office, a Syarie lawyer or your state Syariah Court.

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