When my spouse is talking, I am busy preparing my reply and not really listening. What should I do?

Listening to understand, not to reply, is a rare gift but the most comforting one in a marriage. When your mind is busy lining up arguments, your spouse feels they are talking to a wall. Try this habit: listen fully, then repeat back what you understood before replying, for example ‘So you feel weighed down because the work keeps piling up, yes?’ This makes sure you really understand, and your spouse feels valued. Hold yourself back from interrupting or correcting straight away. Only after they feel heard, share your view. Good listening usually cools a conflict faster than a clever argument. See communication & emotions.