After living together, I have started to see my spouse's shortcomings that I did not see before. What should I do?

Seeing your spouse's shortcomings after living together is normal, and wisdom lies in weighing those shortcomings against their good qualities. Allah teaches us concerning spouses: “If ye take a dislike to them it may be that ye dislike a thing, and Allah brings about through it a great deal of good” (Surah an-Nisa' 4:19). Distinguish between weaknesses that must be accepted and things that can be improved kindly. For what can be improved, raise it gently and at a suitable time, not as an attack. For what will stay, train your heart to accept it while being grateful for their strengths. Remember that you too have shortcomings that your spouse patiently bears. See everyday adab.

Sources

Surah an-Nisa' 4:19

← PreviousMy spouse feels neglected because I still often go out with friends after marrying. How do I balance this?Next →My family says mental illness is only due to weak faith and that I just need more worship. Is that right?

Related questions

My spouse feels neglected because I still often go out with friends after marrying. How do I balance this?Marriage does not require you to drop all your friends, but your priority now moves to your spouse and your home. Your spouse…My spouse is jealous of everyone I follow or like on social media. What should I do?A little jealousy is a sign of caring, but jealousy that controls every move online points to a wound in trust th…My family is threatening to hurt me if I do not return to my old religion. What should I do?Your safety comes first: a threat to hurt you is a danger that must be dealt with immediately, not merely endured w…I am a short-tempered head of the family and my family is afraid of me. How can I change?A frightened family is not a sign of successful leadership, but a sign of anger that needs treating. The Prophet ﷺ sai…I am a wife who feels not pretty enough compared with other women my husband sees. What can I do?Your worth in the sight of Allah and in your marriage is not measured by comparing your looks with other women. Comparisons…My mother is asking me to do something that makes things hard for my wife. Whom should I put first?Devotion to your mother is obligatory, but it does not permit injustice towards your wife; find a way that fulfils both right…

This answer is general reference, not a fatwa. For your situation, consult the religious affairs office, a Syarie lawyer or your state Syariah Court.

Comments or feedback

Read only by the MYPolygyny administrator — never published.

About Us · Ask · Site Map · Privacy · Editorial policy · Disclaimer