🤝 Existing wife & prospective wife · #118

My mind keeps comparing myself with my future co-wife. How do I stop it?

Comparing yourself with a co-wife only feeds anxiety and rarely reflects the truth. Allah says: “And do not covet that in which Allah has favoured some of you over others” (Surah an-Nisa' 4:32). Everyone is given their own strengths and trials, and what you are comparing is usually an incomplete picture. When that thought comes, shift your focus to one blessing you have, and return your heart to your own relationship with Allah and your husband. Stop looking for information about the co-wife, whether on social media or through other people. Put your energy into improving yourself, not into winning a race that torments you. See mental health.

Sources

Surah an-Nisa' 4:32

← PreviousEver since my husband said he wants to marry again, I feel I am not worth enough. How do I rebuild my confidence?Next →On the first night my husband spent at my co-wife's home, I felt very lonely. How do I get through it?

Related questions

I keep comparing myself with my co-wife until jealousy is eating me up. How do I stop?Comparing yourself with your co-wife is a race with no finish line that only exhausts your soul. Allah says: “A…My husband keeps comparing me with my co-wife. How do I tell him it hurts?Tell him calmly, using specific examples and one clear hope, not with general accusations that provoke…I am a second wife and keep comparing myself with the first wife. How do I stop?Stopping the comparison starts when you accept that you and the first wife are simply different, and your wo…I am a third wife. How do I adjust to two co-wives?Enter this family with humility and an attitude of observing first, not by taking any co-wife’s side. Every fami…Family and neighbours like to compare me with my co-wife. How do I deal with it?Other people’s comparisons say more about their ignorance than about your true worth. You are not obliged to respond o…My co-wife likes to tell me at length about her private matters with our husband. How do I set boundaries?You have the right to set boundaries gently when such sharing adds to your burden or touches on matters that should stay priv…

This answer is general reference, not a fatwa. For your situation, consult the religious affairs office, a Syarie lawyer or your state Syariah Court.

Comments or feedback

Read only by the MYPolygyny administrator — never published.

About Us · Ask · Site Map · Privacy · Editorial policy · Disclaimer