After divorce: a guide for single mothers - finances, housing, documents and children

1The first week after divorce: a checklist

The early days after a divorce are often full of emotion, and at the same time many small matters determine your position later on. You do not need to settle everything at once. Begin by keeping evidence and separating your financial affairs.

1. Divorce certificate or court order. Make sure the divorce has been confirmed and registered by the Syariah Court or the religious office, and obtain copies of the divorce certificate and any orders (maintenance, custody, consent). A talaq pronounced outside court must be reported and confirmed; see Talaq.
2. Date of the talaq. This date determines when the ʿiddah begins and ends, and therefore when ʿiddah maintenance and the right of residence during the ʿiddah come to an end. Note the date confirmed by the court. The ʿiddah period and taking back (rujuk) are explained in ʿIddah and rujuk.
3. The children's documents. Keep copies of birth certificates, MyKid, health cards or immunisation records, school records and the children's insurance policies. These documents are needed for child maintenance claims, applications for assistance and school registration.
4. Your own bank account. Open or activate an account in your name only, and ask for maintenance to be paid into that account so that every payment is on record.
5. Nominees and official records. Check the nominees on your EPF, insurance, takaful and savings, and change them if necessary. Also check other records that may need updating, such as your details with your employer, bank and income tax; ask the agency concerned what documents are required.
6. Joint accounts and passwords. Change the passwords for your email, online banking and phone. List joint accounts, supplementary cards and joint loans so that each person's liabilities are clear.
7. Start keeping records. Keep a simple notebook: dates, the amount of maintenance received (or not), the children's expenses, and important conversations. Well-kept records make it easier for the court and officers to help you.

2Your financial rights and your children's

Islam does not leave a divorced woman to bear everything alone. Allah says: "Lodge them (wives in their ʿiddah) where you dwell, according to your means" (Surah at-Talaq, 65:6), and the following verse lays down that maintenance is given according to the means of the one giving it (65:7). The table below summarises the main rights after divorce. The amount of each claim is determined by the court based on the circumstances of both parties, so this site does not state figures.

The most important thing to remember: a father's obligation to maintain his children does not end with divorce. Section 72(1) of Act 303 states that a man must maintain his children whether they are in his custody or in the custody of someone else. Under s.79, a child maintenance order ordinarily continues until the child reaches the age of 18, and the court may extend it for higher education.

3When maintenance is not paid

A court order that is not complied with is not a dead end. The law provides several routes, and using them is your right, not an act of revenge.

• Record every default. The date payment was due, the amount received and the outstanding balance. Under s.69, maintenance arrears may be claimed as a debt.
• Apply for enforcement in the Syariah Court. The court can use the enforcement methods provided under Syariah civil procedure law, such as an earnings attachment order (salary deduction) and a judgment debtor summons. The court may also order security for child maintenance (s.74).
• The Family Support Division (BSK) of the JKSM. The BSK helps former wives and children who are not receiving maintenance as ordered, including help to enforce the order and, in eligible cases, advance payments of maintenance. Contact the BSK in your state or through the JKSM portal for the current conditions.
• Vary the order if circumstances change. Under s.66, either party may apply to the court to vary a maintenance order if there has been a material change in circumstances.

More detailed steps are in the Maintenance guide and Child maintenance.

4Zakat and government assistance

Applying for help is not a sign of failure. It is a channel that the Shariah and society have provided precisely for a period of transition such as this. Surah at-Tawbah, 9:60 lists the eight categories of zakat recipients (asnaf), including the poor, the needy and the gharimin (those in debt for permissible needs).

• Zakat. Applications are made to the Islamic Religious Council or the Zakat Board of the state where you reside, usually at the counter, through the amil kariah at the mosque, or via the state's online portal. Prepare copies of your identity card, divorce certificate, the children's birth certificates, a statement of income or a letter confirming you are not working, and your main bills.
• Department of Social Welfare (JKM). The JKM administers several schemes, including Children's Assistance (BKK) for low-income families caring for children, and general assistance. Applications are made at the district JKM office or through the JKM online system.
• e-Kasih. The Government's national poverty database, used by several agencies to channel assistance. Registration can be made through the district office or the relevant agency.
• Sumbangan Tunai Rahmah (STR). Government cash assistance for eligible households and individuals. Single mothers should check whether their category and household details have been updated after the divorce.
• Educational assistance for children. There is schooling assistance and there are scholarships at federal, state and zakat level. Ask your child's school about the assistance currently open.
• Ministry of Women, Family and Community Development (KPWKM). Coordinates policies and programmes for women and families, including initiatives for single mothers.

5Housing and safety

Section 71(1) of Act 303 provides that a divorced woman is entitled to remain in the home in which she lived while married, for so long as the husband does not provide other suitable accommodation for her. Under s.71(2), this right ends:

• when the ʿiddah period ends; or
• when the period of custody of the children ends; or
• when the woman remarries; or
• if the woman commits open indecency (fahisyah),

and the husband may then apply to the court for the return of the home. In other words, this right of residence is tied to the ʿiddah and to the custody of the children, and it can be fulfilled either in the matrimonial home or in other suitable accommodation.

Long-term housing options. Low-income single mothers can look into the People's Housing Programme (PPR) and their state's affordable housing schemes. Conditions and application procedures differ between states and local authorities.

If there is violence or a threat. Your safety and your children's come before everything else. Call the police (999) in an emergency, or Talian Kasih 15999 for advice and referral to a shelter. A protection order can also be applied for under the Domestic Violence Act 1994 (Act 521), which applies to everyone regardless of religion.

6Children: custody, visitation and emotions

Section 81(1) of Act 303 states that, subject to s.82, the mother is the person best entitled to custody of her young child during the marriage and after the marriage has been dissolved. This is in keeping with the Prophet's ﷺ teaching to a divorced mother who feared her child would be taken from her, that she had a greater right to the child as long as she had not remarried (narrated in Sunan Abi Dawud, Kitab al-Talaq, the chapter on who has the greater right to the child).

• Conditions. This right depends on the qualifications in s.82 (among them being a Muslim, of sound mind, capable and of good character). Under s.83, a woman's right of custody may be lost, among other things, if she moves in a way that prevents the father from exercising supervision over the child (although a former wife may take her child to her own place of birth), or if she neglects or ill-treats the child.
• Duration. Under s.84, the right of custody ordinarily ends when a boy reaches the age of seven and a girl the age of nine, but the court may extend it to nine and eleven respectively. After that, a child who has reached discernment (mumaiyiz) may choose to live with the mother or the father, unless the court orders otherwise. The welfare of the child remains the court's paramount consideration.
• The father's visitation rights. A child has the right to know and be close to his or her father. Visitation is usually arranged in an order or an agreement. Visitation and maintenance are two separate matters: unpaid maintenance does not cancel the child's right to see the father, and vice versa.
• Do not make the children a weapon in the conflict. Avoid running down your former husband in front of the children, using the children to carry messages, or restricting visits as a form of pressure. Children who are shielded from quarrels recover more quickly.
• Emotional support for the children. Explain the changes in age-appropriate language, keep daily routines, and let teachers know if a child shows changes in behaviour.

See Custody and lineage and Raising the family.

7Rebuilding: work, health and remarriage

The Prophet ﷺ praised the one who strives on behalf of the widow and the poor, saying that such a person is like one who strives in the path of Allah (Sahih al-Bukhari, Kitab al-Nafaqat; Sahih Muslim, Kitab al-Zuhd wa al-Raqa'iq). This hadith reminds society of its responsibility to help, and its spirit can also be understood as an appreciation of the efforts of a mother who works to support her family.

Work and skills. Ask at the JKM office, the zakat office, the district office and the state women's development agency about skills courses, retraining and small-business capital assistance currently open. Start with the skills you already have, and draw up a simple budget; basic guidance is in Family finances.

Emotional health. Sadness, anger and exhaustion are common reactions. If these feelings persist or interfere with daily life, seek help. The HEAL line 15555 provides psychosocial support, and the Psychology and Counselling pages explain the support options. Single mothers' support groups at mosques, in the community or in women's organisations can also help.

Remarrying. Remarrying after the ʿiddah has ended is permissible and need not be felt as something shameful. A few points should be understood:

• A marriage cannot be contracted during the ʿiddah, and a wali is still required.
• Under s.83(a), the right of custody may be lost if the mother marries a man who is not a mahram of the child and the custody would affect the child's welfare; the right returns if that marriage is dissolved.
• Under s.71(2)(c), the right to remain in the former husband's home ends when the woman remarries.
• The father's obligation to maintain the children (s.72) does not lapse because the mother remarries.

See Remarriage. For women whose husbands have died, see Widows.

Sources & references