The rights of husband and wife in Islam

1Basis: balanced rights according to what is right (ma'ruf)

Three verses are the axis of the relationship between husband and wife:

• Surah al-Baqarah 2:228 — "…And they (wives) have rights similar to the obligations upon them according to what is right; and men have a degree over them…" Rights and duties go hand in hand. Ibn Abbas r.a. interpreted this 'degree' as the husband's responsibility to be more forbearing and to fulfil his wife's rights (Tafsir at-Tabari).
• Surah an-Nisa' 4:19 — "…and live with them according to what is right. And if you dislike them, (be patient), for perhaps you dislike a thing while Allah places in it much good." The same verse forbids inheriting women against their will and making life hard for them to take back what was given.
• Surah ar-Rum 30:21 — the purpose of marriage is tranquillity (sakinah), affection (mawaddah) and mercy (rahmah).

Ma'ruf means what is good and accepted according to the Shariah and to local custom that does not contradict it. That is why many details of rights (the level of maintenance, the type of home, household arrangements) are referred to custom ('urf) and means.

2Qiwamah (4:34): leadership as responsibility

Surah an-Nisa' 4:34: "Men are the protectors and maintainers (qawwamun) of women, because Allah has given some of them an advantage over others, and because they (men) spend from their wealth…"

• Its basis is maintenance and protection. The verse itself links qiwamah to 'what they spend'. Many scholars (including in the Maliki and Shafi'i schools) hold that the marriage of a husband who fails to provide maintenance may be dissolved by judicial dissolution (fasakh) on the wife's application.
• It is not lordship. The Prophet ﷺ said: "Each of you is a shepherd and each of you will be asked about his flock… a man is a shepherd over his family… and a woman is a shepherd in her husband's house" (Sahih al-Bukhari 893).
• Consultation (shura) in the family — decisions such as weaning a child are made "by mutual consent and consultation between the two" (Surah al-Baqarah 2:233).
• The Prophet ﷺ himself "used to help with the work of his family" at home (Sahih al-Bukhari 676).

3Shared rights of husband and wife

As soon as the marriage contract is valid, both parties acquire the same rights:

4The wife's rights

1. Mahr (dower) — wholly the wife's property: "And give the women their dowers as a free gift" (Surah an-Nisa' 4:4). The husband may not take it back, even if it is large (4:20). See mahr.
2. Maintenance (nafkah) — food, clothing, medical care and basic needs according to the husband's means (Surah at-Talaq 65:7; al-Baqarah 2:233). In the Farewell Pilgrimage sermon, the Prophet ﷺ said the wife's right is provision and clothing according to what is right (Sahih Muslim, Kitab al-Hajj). Hind bint 'Utbah was permitted to take from her miserly husband's wealth "what is sufficient for you and your child according to what is right" (Sahih al-Bukhari 5364). See maintenance.
3. Housing — "Lodge them where you dwell, according to your means" (Surah at-Talaq 65:6). According to the majority, the wife is entitled to a home that is private from others' interference; she may not be forced to share a home with her co-wife or her in-laws without her willing consent.
4. Kind treatment — "The best of you is the best to his family, and I am the best of you to my family" (Sunan at-Tirmidhi 3895; sahih). "The most complete of the believers in faith is the best of them in character, and the best of you are the best to their wives" (Sunan at-Tirmidhi 1162; hasan sahih).
5. Justice in polygyny — a just rotation of nights, maintenance and housing for each wife (Surah an-Nisa' 4:3). See the polygyny section below.
6. Religious knowledge — "Protect yourselves and your families from the Fire" (Surah at-Tahrim 66:6). The husband must teach the basics of personal religious obligation (fardu ain) or allow his wife to learn from others if he cannot.
7. Intimate needs (nafkah batin) — also the wife's right, not the husband's alone; the Prophet ﷺ rebuked a Companion who fasted and prayed at night continuously: "…and your wife has a right over you" (Sahih al-Bukhari 5199).

5The husband's rights

1. Obedience in what is right (ma'ruf) — the wife obeys her husband in reasonable household matters. This obedience is limited: "There is no obedience in sin; obedience is only in what is right" (Sahih al-Bukhari 7257). Instructions that are unjust, harmful or contrary to the Shariah need not be obeyed.
2. Guarding herself and her honour — not allowing anyone her husband dislikes to enter the home or the husband's 'bed' (Sahih Muslim, Kitab al-Hajj).
3. Looking after the husband's property — the wife is a trustee in her husband's house (Sahih al-Bukhari 893); she does not spend his property beyond what is customary without permission.
4. Marital relations — the wife does not refuse without a valid excuse (Sahih al-Bukhari 5193; Sahih Muslim, Kitab an-Nikah). Excuses such as illness, menstruation, severe exhaustion or harm are taken into account. Likewise, a wife's voluntary fasting while her husband is at home requires his permission (Sahih al-Bukhari 5195).
5. Permission to leave the house — see the section on differences of opinion below.

6Permission to leave the house: differences of opinion and context

The majority of jurists (Shafi'i, Hanbali, Maliki) hold that a wife needs her husband's permission to leave the house other than for emergencies. However, the jurists themselves set many exceptions and limits:

• Recognised needs — seeking medical treatment, learning personal religious obligations (fardu ain) if the husband does not teach them, escaping danger, or going to court to claim her rights.
• Parents — the Hanafi school allows a wife to visit her parents regularly (once a week is mentioned) even without permission; Shafi'i and Hanbali scholars stress that a husband should not prevent visits to parents, as that severs the ties of kinship.
• The mosque — "If your wife asks permission to go to the mosque, then permit her" (Sahih al-Bukhari 5238; narrated by Muslim).
• General permission — permission need not be sought every time; general agreement (for example to work, study or go to the market) is sufficient.

7The wife's work and property

• A wife's property is entirely her own — salary, business, inheritance and mahr (dower) belong to the wife: "For men is a share of what they have earned, and for women is a share of what they have earned" (Surah an-Nisa' 4:32). The husband has no right to take it without her willing consent.
• The wife is not obliged to bear the family's maintenance, even if she is wealthier. Her contribution is charity and kindness (ihsan), not a debt that can be claimed, unless agreed as a loan.
• Working — according to the majority, a wife works with her husband's agreement because it involves time outside the home. If the wife was already working when they married, or it was stipulated in the marriage contract, most contemporary scholars hold that the husband may not withdraw his agreement without a reasonable cause. See conditions in the marriage contract.
• Housework — the Shafi'i and Hanbali schools hold that housework is not legally obligatory on the wife; some Hanafi and Maliki scholars refer to custom ('urf). Fatimah r.a. did her own housework and the Prophet ﷺ taught her a dhikr (Sahih al-Bukhari 3113) — it is good character and cooperation, not a one-sided burden.
• Jointly acquired matrimonial property (harta sepencarian) — property acquired together during the marriage can be claimed on divorce (Act 303 s.122); the court that grants permission for polygyny may also, on the application of either party, order its division (Act 303 s.23(9)(b); Selangor Enactment 2003 s.23(10)(b)).

8Rights in a polygynous marriage

Every wife has the same full rights; a new wife does not reduce the rights of an existing wife.

9When rights are not fulfilled

• Talk and counselling — the first step; the state Islamic Religious Department provides family counselling services. See counselling.
• Claims in the Syariah Court — the wife's maintenance and arrears of maintenance, an order to resume conjugal obedience, or jointly acquired matrimonial property (harta sepencarian).
• Dissolution — taʿliq, judicial dissolution (fasakh) (for example, maintenance not provided, abuse, intimate needs neglected) or khulʿ. See talaq, khulʿ & fasakh.
• The husband's right — if a wife's nushuz (marital defiance) has been established, her maintenance lapses for that period (Act 303 s.59(2)). See nushuz.

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